At what age should kids be on social media? Should they be on it at all? If they arenB次元官网网址檛, will they be social pariahs? Should parents monitor their conversations? Do parental controls work?

Navigating social media as a parent B次元官网网址� not to mention a child B次元官网网址� is not easy. Using social media platforms is still the default for most American teenagers, with the Pew Research Center reporting that 58% of teens are daily users of TikTok, including 17% who describe their TikTok use as almost constant. About half of teens use Snapchat and Instagram daily, with near-constant use at 14% and 8% for each, respectively.

But parents B次元官网网址� and even some teens themselves B次元官网网址� are growing increasingly concerned about the effects of social media use on young people. Lawmakers have taken notice and have held multiple congressional hearings on child online safety. But even with apparent bipartisan unity, making laws and regulating companies takes time. So far, no regulation has passed.

What are parents B次元官网网址� and teens B次元官网网址� supposed to do in the meantime? Here are some tips on staying safe, communicating and setting limits on social media B次元官网网址� for kids as well as their parents.

IS 13 THE MAGIC AGE FOR SOCIAL MEDIA?

ThereB次元官网网址檚 already, technically, a rule that prohibits kids under 13 from using platforms that advertise to them without parental consent: The ChildrenB次元官网网址檚 Online Privacy Protection Act that went into effect in 2000, before todayB次元官网网址檚 teenagers were even born.

The goal was to protect kidsB次元官网网址� online privacy by requiring websites and online services to disclose clear privacy policies and get parentsB次元官网网址� consent before gathering personal information on their kids, among other things. To comply, social media companies have generally banned kids under 13 from signing up for their services.

But times have changed, and online privacy is no longer the only concern when it comes to kids being online. ThereB次元官网网址檚 bullying, harassment, the risk of developing eating disorders, suicidal thoughts or worse.

For years, there has been a push among parents, educators and tech experts to wait to give children phones B次元官网网址� and access to social media B次元官网网址� until they are older, such as the B次元官网网址淲ait Until 8thB次元官网网址� pledge that has parents sign a pledge not to give their kids a smartphone until the 8th grade, or about age 13 or 14. Some wait even later, like 16 or 17.

But neither social media companies nor the government have done anything concrete to increase the age limit.

IF THE LAW WONB次元官网网址橳 BAN KIDS, SHOULD PARENTS?

B次元官网网址淭here is not necessarily a magical age,B次元官网网址� said Christine Elgersma, a social media expert at the nonprofit Common Sense Media. But, she added, B次元官网网址�13 is probably not the best age for kids to get on social media.B次元官网网址�

The laws currently being proposed include blanket bans on the under-13 set when it comes to social media. The problem? ThereB次元官网网址檚 no easy way to verify a personB次元官网网址檚 age when they sign up for apps and online services. And the apps popular with teens today were created for adults first. Companies have added some safeguards over the years, Elgersma noted, but these are piecemeal changes, not fundamental rethinks of the services.

B次元官网网址淒evelopers need to start building apps with kids in mind,B次元官网网址� she said.

Some tech executives, celebrities such as and parents from all walks of life have resorted to . While the decision is a personal one that depends on each child and parent, some experts say this could lead to isolating kids, who could be left out of activities and discussions with friends that take place on social media or chat services.

Another hurdle B次元官网网址� kids who have never been on social media may find themselves ill-equipped to navigate the platforms when they are suddenly allowed free rein the day they turn 18.

TALK, TALK, TALK

A more realistic and effective approach to social media, experts say, that gives children the tools and information they need to navigate a world in which places like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are almost impossible to escape.

B次元官网网址淵ou cannot just expect that the kids will jump into the world of social media, learn how to swim on their own,B次元官网网址� said Natalie Bazarova, a professor of communications and director of the Cornell Social Media Lab. B次元官网网址淭hey need to have instruction.B次元官网网址�

Start early, earlier than you think. Elgersma suggests that parents go through their own social media feeds with their children before they are old enough to be online and have open discussions on what they see. How would your child handle a situation where a friend of a friend asks them to send a photo? Or if they see an article that makes them so angry they just want to share it right away?

For older kids, Elgersma says to approach them with curiosity and interest, B次元官网网址渁sking about what their friends are doing or just not asking direct questions like, B次元官网网址榃hat are you doing on Instagram?B次元官网网址� but rather, B次元官网网址楬ey, I heard this influencer is really popular.B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址� And even if your kid rolled their eyes it could be a window.B次元官网网址�

DonB次元官网网址檛 say things like B次元官网网址淭urn that thing off!B次元官网网址� when your kid has been scrolling for a long time, says Jean Rogers, the director of the nonprofit FairplayB次元官网网址檚 Screen Time Action Network.

B次元官网网址淭hatB次元官网网址檚 not respectful,B次元官网网址� Rogers said. B次元官网网址淚t doesnB次元官网网址檛 respect that they have a whole life and a whole world in that device.B次元官网网址�

Instead, Rogers suggests asking them questions about what they do on their phone, and see what your child is willing to share.

Kids are also likely to respond to parents and educators and the sometimes insidious tools companies use to keep people online and engaged, Elgersma said. Watch a documentary like B次元官网网址淭he Social DilemmaB次元官网网址� that explores algorithms, dark patterns and dopamine feedback cycles of social media. Or read up with them how Facebook and TikTok make money.

B次元官网网址淜ids love to be in the know about these things, and it will give them a sense of power,B次元官网网址� she said.

SETTING LIMITS

Rogers says most parents have success with taking their kidsB次元官网网址� phones overnight to limit their scrolling. Occasionally kids might try to sneak the phone back, but itB次元官网网址檚 a strategy that tends to work because kids need a break from the screen.

B次元官网网址淭hey need to an excuse with their peers to not be on their phone at night,B次元官网网址� Rogers said. B次元官网网址淭hey can blame their parents.B次元官网网址�

Parents may need their own limits on phone use. Rogers said itB次元官网网址檚 helpful to explain what you are doing when you do have a phone in hand around your child so they understand you are not aimlessly scrolling through sites like Instagram. Tell your child that youB次元官网网址檙e checking work email, looking up a recipe for dinner or paying a bill so they understand youB次元官网网址檙e not on there just for fun. Then tell them when you plan to put the phone down.

WHAT ABOUT PARENTAL CONTROLS?

Social media platforms that cater to children have added an ever-growing array of parental controls as they face increasing scrutiny over child safety. For instance, Meta unveiled tools last year that lets parents set time limits, see who their kid follows or is followed by, and allows them to track how much time the minor spends on Instagram. It does not let parents see message content.

But as with similar tools on other platforms such as TikTok, the feature is optional, and both kids and parents have to agree to use it. In order to nudge kids toward agreeing to set up the controls, Instagram sends a notice to teens after they block someone, encouraging them to let their parents B次元官网网址渟uperviseB次元官网网址� their account. The idea is to grab kidsB次元官网网址� attention when they might be more open to parental guidance.

By making the feature optional, Meta says it is trying to B次元官网网址渂alance teen safety and autonomyB次元官网网址� as well as prompt conversations between parents and their children.

Such features can be useful for families in which parents are already involved in their childB次元官网网址檚 online life and activities. Experts say thatB次元官网网址檚 not the reality for many people.

U.S. Surgeon General itB次元官网网址檚 unfair to expect parents to manage what their children do with rapidly evolving technology that B次元官网网址渇undamentally changes how their kids think about themselves, how they build friendships, how they experience the world B次元官网网址� and technology, by the way, that prior generations never had to manage.B次元官网网址�

Putting all of that on the shoulders of parents, he said, B次元官网网址渋s just simply not fair.B次元官网网址�

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