Tayla Jackson was unhappy, but she didnB次元官网网址檛 know why.
Those around her may not have noticed anything was amiss, but Jackson could not shake a feeling of uneasiness trapped inside.
The combination of stress and anxiety became so bad, Jackson walked away from the game she loved, basketball.
But when one chapter ends, another begins, and for Jackson, that means sharing her story and her struggles with other student-athletes facing similar issues through her new blog, .
The blog examines the battles that student-athletes face away from the game and offers a way for them to connect with others experiencing similar struggles.
Jackson, who turns 21 later this month, first noticed the signs when she began university following graduation from LangleyB次元官网网址檚 Brookswood Secondary in 2015.
She was attending the University of California Irvine on a basketball scholarship following an outstanding high school career with the Brookswood Bobcats as one of the provinceB次元官网网址檚 top players.
From the time she began high school in Grade 8, Jackson played on the senior girls team, and did not look out of place, helping the Bobcats to five top-four finishes at provincials, including silver in Grade 10 and gold in the final two seasons.
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However, after one season in California, she returned home to Surrey to attend Simon Fraser University and play for the Clan.
But something was still not right.
B次元官网网址淚 didnB次元官网网址檛 know why I couldnB次元官网网址檛 shake this stress of the everyday routine because every day was pretty much the same,B次元官网网址� Jackson explained.
B次元官网网址淚 always had this little bit shortness of breath and stress deep inside my chest and I didnB次元官网网址檛 know why I had that feeling B次元官网网址� I had never experienced that before. It was almost like I was freaking out over something I couldnB次元官网网址檛 figure out and what it was and it would make things worse.B次元官网网址�
Jackson always knew playing her sport at the highest level would be difficult but she admits to having no idea what it would entail mentally and emotionally.
B次元官网网址淚 knew going into it that it would be hard but I thought as long as I put the ball in the hoop, everything else would fall into place,B次元官网网址� she explained.
Jackson B次元官网网址� who is studying to be an elementary school teacher B次元官网网址� played a big role on the Clan this past season, as the teamB次元官网网址檚 second-leading scorer and rebounder at 11.9 points and 4.6 rebounds, respectively, per game.
But the past three years have been filled with stress and anxiety.
B次元官网网址淚 would wake up and throw up because the stress would put my stomach into knots,B次元官网网址� she explained.
Even achieving on-court success did little to alleviate what she was experiencing internally.
B次元官网网址淚 was hitting all the milestones that I had imagined for myself but I didnB次元官网网址檛 feel satisfied whatsoever,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淚 still tossed and turned, not wanting to wake up in the morning and do it all over again B次元官网网址� and I couldnB次元官网网址檛 explain what I was feeling or why I was feeling it.B次元官网网址�
She also felt that the demands of the sport were transforming her from who she really is.
B次元官网网址淚 really lost touch of my spark,B次元官网网址� she explained. B次元官网网址淚 definitely think it was hard to spend every day trying to be shifted and moulded into someone who I wasnB次元官网网址檛 naturally.B次元官网网址�
So she quit basketball.
Whereas Jackson felt like she was walking on eggshells before the decision, she now feels free.
She also decided to launch her blog last month.
B次元官网网址淲earing your heart on your sleeve, putting it out there, you are making yourself so vulnerable to people, you donB次元官网网址檛 know how they are going to react,B次元官网网址� Jackson said. B次元官网网址淏ut knowing that someone can relate or understand, makes it all worthwhile.
B次元官网网址淭his is an expose of my experiences in hopes that others (can) deal with their own emotional struggles.B次元官网网址�
Her message is simple.
B次元官网网址淵ou need to know you are worth fighting for,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淎nd you need to put your happiness first.B次元官网网址�
sports@langleytimes.com
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