Decades of silence: Elder May Sam shares the abuse she endured at a Duncan Indian day school

This article contains descriptions of abuse that may be triggering. Support for survivors and their families is available. Call the Indian Residential School Survivors Society at 1-800-721-0066, or 1-866-925-4419 for the 24-7 crisis line.

May Sam knew very little about what lay ahead as she stepped onto the school bus before her first day of Indian day school.

She was just six years old.

She didnB次元官网网址檛 speak English.

Sam was born in Mill Bay and never spoke English at home. So she spent the first few years lip-syncing God Save the Queen on the school steps every morning. She also didnB次元官网网址檛 know what nuns were. B次元官网网址淚 didnB次元官网网址檛 know if it was a man or woman because of the, well, how the nuns dressed. It was really strange for me to see that.B次元官网网址�

But there was one fact Sam knew.

B次元官网网址淢y father, he says B次元官网网址榶ou get up and you be ready for the bus and you get to school. If you donB次元官网网址檛 go to school, theyB次元官网网址檒l come and take you away.B次元官网网址� And back in those days B次元官网网址� he called it the Indian agent B次元官网网址� B次元官网网址榯he Indian agent will come and get you and take you away.B次元官网网址� He didnB次元官网网址檛 want that to happen to me and my sister. And so while my dad was at work, we had to do our chores and be ready for the school bus.B次元官网网址�

When Sam got onto the school bus, leaving her home by the water of the Saanich Inlet, and headed to St. CatherineB次元官网网址檚 Indian Day School in Duncan for the first time, she didnB次元官网网址檛 know what was in store.

What she found was an alien, hostile and cold world.

B次元官网网址淭he nuns hated me,B次元官网网址� Sam recalled. B次元官网网址淭here was no care, no love or no affection or nothing. They didnB次元官网网址檛 care. They did that to everybody.B次元官网网址�

SamB次元官网网址檚 struggles to learn English left her feeling isolated, even with her sister also at the school, because she couldnB次元官网网址檛 talk in her language for fear of being punished. The nun who taught Sam kept a bar of soap on her desk and would use it to scrub the tongue of any child who spoke another language. It happened to Sam multiple times. Other times she was whipped with a long canvas strap.

The worst instance of physical abuse left Sam with a scar on her leg thatB次元官网网址檚 still visible today.

Part of SamB次元官网网址檚 B次元官网网址榚ducationB次元官网网址� involved being forced to make hot chocolate for the hundreds of other students in a dank basement.

The work involved building a fire and pouring big cans of cocoa powder, powdered milk and molasses into a massive galvanized pot. She would stir and stir the pot for hours and then pour the mix into hundreds of cups for the other students.

She was in Grade 3.

Forced labour was commonplace in residential schools. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission said some schools that operated using the B次元官网网址榟alf-day systemB次元官网网址� B次元官网网址� where students worked for half the day and learned for the other half B次元官网网址� came close to turning schools into child labour camps.

One day, Sam was preparing the hot chocolate alone when a nun snuck up on her. One of the nunB次元官网网址檚 favourite punishments was to twirl her finger through SamB次元官网网址檚 hair and jerk her head backwards. Distracted by breaking up kindling for the fire, Sam didnB次元官网网址檛 hear the nun come up behind her. The nun jerked her head backwards and Sam lost her balance, stumbling onto a broken bottle, the sharp edge of the glass cutting into her ankle.

B次元官网网址淚t was so painful. I fell down. I looked and my ankle was honestly, it was pure white on one side, and I didnB次元官网网址檛 know it was my flesh B次元官网网址� it was dark maroon like my flesh. But I really believe it went right through halfway in my ankle. ThatB次元官网网址檚 the scar I have on my leg.B次元官网网址�

The nun dragged her to the nurseB次元官网网址檚 office, who dabbed the wound with some iodine, wrapped it in gauze and sent Sam on her way.

B次元官网网址淚t was so thick with blood. But I was hopping when I got off the bus and my sister helped me to get in the house. My father got home and he was so mad. He didnB次元官网网址檛 understand why they didnB次元官网网址檛 bring me to the hospital to get stitches because I needed stitches.B次元官网网址�

Even while wading through painful memories, Sam brightens when she talks of her father. He raised Sam and her sister on his own after their mother walked out on them. The day Sam came back with her ankle bleeding, he cut down branches from a cherry tree and made crutches. When Sam was an infant he made a pacifier out of a horse clam.

B次元官网网址淗e was a great man. He was a wonderful man B次元官网网址� it was just how creative he was and how he protected me and my sister.B次元官网网址�

ItB次元官网网址檚 clear that strength and protectiveness are some things he passed on to Sam.

She never told her children or her husband what she experienced, and her father never talked much about his own struggles. Sam heard stories from other family members and neighbours.

She saw children go off to residential school and never saw them return and saw what that did to the family members who were left behind. But her own stories were something she kept inside. SheB次元官网网址檚 unsure if this is her inherited protective nature of sheltering others, or because of the humiliation the nuns inflicted on her.

B次元官网网址淭he nuns made us so timid and ashamed. All my young life, I kept my hair over my eyes and I would never look up B次元官网网址� They made us really, really timid B次元官网网址� so ashamed of who we were. They told us not to talk about their abuse when we go home. B次元官网网址楧onB次元官网网址檛 tell anybody. DonB次元官网网址檛 talk about it.B次元官网网址� It was hard. In all my lifetime, I never told my children. I never talked to my husband about it.B次元官网网址�

Sam now lives in Tsartlip First Nation with her children all living nearby, one just down the road and the two others living in Tsawout First Nation, both on the Saanich Peninsula.

B次元官网网址淚 never told my children, I wish I did. Maybe they would have opened up and told me what happened with them in school, at the tribal school here. Maybe they would have told me B次元官网网址� maybe it would have saved them B次元官网网址� but I didnB次元官网网址檛 talk about it.B次元官网网址�

Getting to the point of telling her story has been a struggle for Sam. A dichotomy exists within her. The urge to protect others and help battles against the shame that still scars Sam decades after the abuse she suffered in that Duncan day school.

B次元官网网址淭hose that have passed away with the hurt and pain of losing their child and never coming home B次元官网网址� you need to hear that. Those that are still here are still drowning themselves with alcohol and have so much anger with their family at home, the hurt and pain is the anger from what they went through in school and now they just canB次元官网网址檛 let it go. They canB次元官网网址檛 stop being so angry because they have that shame and that hurt, those that were sexually abused B次元官网网址� they have a real, deep anger.B次元官网网址�

Protecting future generations is particularly important to Sam. Intergenerational trauma has hurt families B次元官网网址� her own included B次元官网网址� and spread the hurt to younger generations. Sam said sheB次元官网网址檒l always stand up for younger people to try and stem the spread of trauma and pain.

Part of that work is done by helping others navigate that shame and hurt. Sam works as an Elder in residence at the University of Victoria and Camosun College. Her late husband, Gabriel B次元官网网址淪kipB次元官网网址� Sam also worked at UVic.

B次元官网网址淚 talk to people and say that I love you. Complete strangers, I meet them and I talk to them and I say B次元官网网址業 love you from my heart to your heart.B次元官网网址� This is what I truly mean.B次元官网网址�

SamB次元官网网址檚 warmth and loving nature are readily apparent, sheB次元官网网址檚 quick to laugh or rest her head on the shoulder of Kristin Spray or Katie Manomie, who flanked her during the interview. The pair have sat rapt throughout SamB次元官网网址檚 telling of her story.

With more people telling their stories and with the federal recognition that has finally come for Sept. 30 B次元官网网址� B次元官网网址渋tB次元官网网址檚 about time they did that,B次元官网网址� Sam added B次元官网网址� some progress is starting to be made.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 out in the open now. ItB次元官网网址檚 out. ItB次元官网网址檚 helping us to heal to have it out in the open.B次元官网网址�

This is part two in a special series prepared by Black Press Media. You can find more of the series and other articles on truth and reconciliation online here.

bailey.moreton@goldstreamgazette.com
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