The holidays can be a stressful time for families, from wondering what to make for that perfect Christmas meal to finding the best gift. That stress can be made worse for families and children whose parents are separated or divorced.
Putting aside arguments and unresolved issues, and remembering that the holidays are about whatB次元官网网址檚 in the best interest of the children can help make the holidays a memorable one, said Val Hemminger of Hemminger Law Group West Shore, which specializes in family law and personal injury.
B次元官网网址淎t Christmas time, itB次元官网网址檚 often a very high emotional time for families. If a family has recently separated, Christmas can be a very triggering time, so what we want to do as the responsible adults is to try and ensure that that time happens in a child-centred way that doesnB次元官网网址檛 traumatize the kids,B次元官网网址� Hemminger said.
B次元官网网址淎round holidays, if we [as parents] have a clear understanding of behavioural expectations, that can reduce the question marks of what to do.B次元官网网址�
Here are a few tips to make the holidays enjoyable for your children:
1. If children are given a special gift or toy, they should be able to take it with them to the other parentB次元官网网址檚 house, should they choose.
B次元官网网址淚f you focus on the childB次元官网网址檚 best interest, it actually teaches them that itB次元官网网址檚 about them and that they have autonomy as well,B次元官网网址� Hemminger said.
2. Children should not be on an airplane, bus or car for a long period of time on Christmas Day for the convenience of adults. Instead, focus on having two Christmases with each parent.
B次元官网网址淜ids arenB次元官网网址檛 as hung up on Christmas Day as we are,B次元官网网址� Hemminger said. B次元官网网址淚t takes away from that special day [when theyB次元官网网址檙e travelling], a day thatB次元官网网址檚 supposed to be for family and hanging out and having a good time. ItB次元官网网址檚 shifting away from the best interest of the child and the focus is instead on the parent.B次元官网网址�
3. Children should be allowed to love both parents without guilt or disapproval.
4. If there is a court battle, or parents are in a state of turmoil, children donB次元官网网址檛 need to know it. Just allow them to continue being kids, donB次元官网网址檛 let them take on adult duties or responsibilities. Any discussions about parents or court battles should be done away from a child.
B次元官网网址淭he message that should consistently be given to them is B次元官网网址榖oth of your parents love you very much, our separation is not your fault and weB次元官网网址檙e going to work it out,B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址� Hemminger said.
5. DonB次元官网网址檛 let children be the messenger between parents. Never let a child carry child support cheques or notes between parents.
6. Kids should be able to celebrate various faith backgrounds of parents. For example, if one parent likes to go to church and the other doesnB次元官网网址檛, the child should be allowed to celebrate that parentB次元官网网址檚 faith.
B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 better to think that the child has an opportunity to celebrate different ways of being. ItB次元官网网址檚 just a different perspective,B次元官网网址� she said.
7. At their request, children should be able to contact the other parent and say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.
They should also be able to own pictures of parents and have them on their bedside table and vice versa.
Find the entire holiday edition of .
Like us on and follow us on
