By Jasper Myers Special to the Record
In November 2019, at age 30, Aly Bird lost her husband Will, 29, in a hiking accident.
Bird worked as a whole-person coach before the accident, and has since pursued studies and training in grief counselling.
Now Bird has written her first book, Grief Ally, which was published in January 2023, and provides a guide for anyone who finds themselves supporting someone after a loss. She said writing the book was part of her own process.
B次元官网网址淭he book was really part of my grief expression, from my own personal experience.B次元官网网址�
When her husband died, Bird said it was the first time she had experienced any sort of significant loss in her life. She coped by asking why, and in her time did a lot of reading and learning about grief.
B次元官网网址淚B次元官网网址檝e learned, after the death of my husband, that I am an instrumental griever. My grief expression is more of a cognitive experience. I focus on problems, and IB次元官网网址檓 interested in doing research and finding answers.B次元官网网址�
She said she noticed early on that people will say, B次元官网网址淕o find community, go find people like you,B次元官网网址� and she couldnB次元官网网址檛 relate to other widows.
B次元官网网址淓verybody was talking about feeling forgotten and abandoned and misunderstood, and the reality of my situation was that I was none of those things,B次元官网网址� she said.
Bird said her support network was really great and stuck by her despite making mistakes or being afraid. She said the book was born out of her observation that people in support roles need a tool.
B次元官网网址淭here are so many books out there written for the bereaved themselvesB次元官网网址hereB次元官网网址檚 plenty of resources out there,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淏ut for the people who want to help, there are very few.B次元官网网址�
So Bird took what her support network was showing her and teaching her, along with her background in coaching and her interest in psychology to build the resource.
About six to eight months after WillB次元官网网址檚 death, Bird had the realization that she had something to share and help others, but it wasnB次元官网网址檛 until a year later that she said she started to work on the book. She noted it started out as a project and decided she would only work on it when it brought her joy.
B次元官网网址淭here were moments where I put it down and then I would pick it back up a month or two later,B次元官网网址� she said.
Now that the book is out, Bird said she is excited.
B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 been something that has been very close to my heart through the writing process, and now being able to talk about it and share it with others and seeing the impact that it will make, that gives me a lot of hope.B次元官网网址�
Bird added thereB次元官网网址檚 a sort of before and after in life - where before, people live their lives and donB次元官网网址檛 think about how finite it is, and after something bad people realize, B次元官网网址極h weB次元官网网址檙e all going to die someday,B次元官网网址� and it almost becomes the bereaved personB次元官网网址檚 job to guide people through that B次元官网网址榓fter.B次元官网网址�
B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 my hope that with this book that the people who can still be in the naive, innocent space in life can still show up for the bereaved,B次元官网网址� she said.
Bird wants these kinds of conversations to be normalized and hopes her book helps to open the doors to these conversations more.
She is currently pursuing a masters degree in counselling psychology and hopes to practice in grief therapy once sheB次元官网网址檚 done.
Grief Ally is available as an e-book, paperback and audiobook, and can be ordered online or in-store.
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