Put a handle on it.

If you donB次元官网网址檛 know what that means, you might not call elders by B次元官网网址淢r.,B次元官网网址� B次元官网网址滿issB次元官网网址� or B次元官网网址淢rs.,B次元官网网址� insist that your children do the same or demand it for yourself. If youB次元官网网址檝e heard the term, youB次元官网网址檙e likely familiar with the history of the politics of respectability and what that means to some African-Americans, pro and con.

Are you from the North or the South? A small town or big city native? From a religious, school or immigrant community that uses elder honorifics? Perhaps youB次元官网网址檙e Professor, Doctor or Judge.

All of the above were widely debated on social media last week, focused on an old talk-show clip of the late Maya Angelou sharply chiding a young woman for addressing her as Maya rather than Miss Angelou before asking the poet and memoirist for her views on interracial marriage.

B次元官网网址淚B次元官网网址檓 not B次元官网网址楳aya.B次元官网网址� IB次元官网网址檓 62 years old. I have lived so long and tried so hard that a young woman like you, or any other, you have no license to come up to me and call me by my first name. ThatB次元官网网址檚 first,B次元官网网址� she said to claps from the audience. B次元官网网址淎lso, because at the same time, I am your mother, I am your auntie, IB次元官网网址檓 your teacher, IB次元官网网址檓 your professor. You see?B次元官网网址�

Angelou apologized later in the show to her questioner.

Pierre Phipps, who tweeted the snippet, has heard from all sides since then and said opinions are varied and plentiful. After his March 14 tweet sent AngelouB次元官网网址檚 name trending on Twitter, Phipps said the Kim in the clip reached out.

Turns out sheB次元官网网址檚 Kim Watts, 49, an educator in the San Francisco Bay Area. Watts told The Associated Press by phone Wednesday that she doesnB次元官网网址檛 have a Twitter account but friends and family alerted her to the hub-bub. She said she was a 20-year-old college student in 1989 when she went on a class trip to San Francisco to sit in the audience for a taping with Angelou of the talk show B次元官网网址淧eople are Talking.B次元官网网址�

B次元官网网址淗er response threw me off. It was a little awkward for me, but at the same time it was like, oh my God this is Maya Angelou,B次元官网网址� Watts said. B次元官网网址淚 remember feeling like, oh my gosh I insulted one of my icons, a person I look up to.B次元官网网址�

Watts said she got a kick out of people new the clip thinking she was still a teen.

The 29-year-old Phipps, whose Twitter handle is @PrinceCharmingP, canB次元官网网址檛 remember where he found the vintage exchange when he tweeted it out.

I canB次元官网网址檛 wait to turn 30 so I can read one of yall for calling me by my first name like this:

B次元官网网址� Mr. Girth of a Nation (@PrinceCharmingP)

He told the AP in an interview that he was surprised at the attention the tweet has received, especially among young people who disagreed with Angelou. She died in 2014 at age 86, and also favoured the title Dr. in light of her numerous honorary doctorates.

B次元官网网址淭hey think Miss AngelouB次元官网网址檚 response was very elitist. They were really, really pissed about it,B次元官网网址� said Phipps, who lives in Los Angeles and writes for television. B次元官网网址淲eB次元官网网址檙e living in progressive times and a lot of people said once they turn 18, they feel like they have an even platform no matter how old you are. History is no longer playing a part in how we go about our everyday lives. History is becoming history.B次元官网网址�

Phipps grew up in Chicago, but he has plenty of older female relatives from the South, including Mississippi and Alabama.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 an unwritten rule on respect for elders in which a lot of us were born and raised to B次元官网网址榩ut a handle on it,B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址� he said. B次元官网网址淢e personally, coming from a strong black Southern family, I didnB次元官网网址檛 see anything wrong with her response. Everyone is raised differently.B次元官网网址�

Watts, who was adopted as a child by white parents, said she was not raised with the courtesy title tradition or practice for elders in her life.

B次元官网网址淚 wasnB次元官网网址檛 thinking about that in the moment,B次元官网网址� she said of her encounter with Angelou. B次元官网网址淚 like that this conversation, though, is focused on respect. Given my age now, I can see both sides of it.B次元官网网址�

Carrie Salow is a 55-year-old mother of two girls in Phoenix, where she moved from Grand Rapids, Michigan, when she was 15.

B次元官网网址淚 absolutely expect my teen daughters to call their friendsB次元官网网址� parents Mr. and Mrs., and I expect the same,B次元官网网址� said Salow, who is white. B次元官网网址淭he kids who live across the street from us are now young adults, in and out of college. They still call me Mrs. Salow and I feel it is appropriate.B次元官网网址�

Valencia Bey, 49, was born and raised in Chicago and now lives in nearby Oak Park, Illinois. She spent most of her summers in Shelby, Mississippi, with her maternal grandparents and extended family.

B次元官网网址淵ou just did NOT call elders by their first name,B次元官网网址� said Bey, who is black. B次元官网网址淚 was taught by folks who felt the way Ms. Angelou did. Addressing someone as Mr. or Miss was a sign of respect, especially those who came from the Jim Crow South, where calling a grown black person by their first name was a sign of disrespect. White people would purposely not call them Mr. or Mrs. or Miss to reinforce that they were considered inferior.B次元官网网址�

Against the backdrop of African-American history, such honorifics are heavy indeed.

B次元官网网址淟ike Angelou, our elders have lived lives some of us can only imagine, especially if they grew up in a society that was founded on white supremacy,B次元官网网址� wrote Britni Danielle, in a piece about the tweet at Essence online.

B次元官网网址淥ften times, they werenB次元官网网址檛 given the respect they were due by the outside world, which regularly sought to humiliate and dehumanize them at every turn. Those who did dare speak up and demand their propers did so knowing the price could be steep,B次元官网网址� she wrote.

The 55-year-old Lucy OB次元官网网址橠onnell, with a nearly 18-year-old daughter and a 21-year-old son in Los Angeles, was raised in Arlington, Virginia.

B次元官网网址淭wo of my daughterB次元官网网址檚 friends initially addressed me as Mrs., and I have to say I hadnB次元官网网址檛 even given it a thought until then. I told them that they were welcome to call me by my first name but that if it was important in their households to address adults more formally that was fine, too,B次元官网网址� said OB次元官网网址橠onnell, who is white. B次元官网网址淏oth switched to Lucy pretty quickly. The only tradition I canB次元官网网址檛 abide is Mrs. and a husbandB次元官网网址檚 first and last name.B次元官网网址�

Danielle acknowledged young blacks responding to PhippsB次元官网网址� tweet who thought Angelou was out of line, writing:

B次元官网网址淲e live in a time where some people donB次元官网网址檛 really value the things and people who came before them. ThatB次元官网网址檚 how we get shirts declaring, B次元官网网址業B次元官网网址檓 not my ancestors,B次元官网网址� or people looking to cancel dead Black writers like Angelou because they do not like an answer theyB次元官网网址檇 given decades ago without understanding the context of the times.B次元官网网址�

Leanne Italie, The Associated Press

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