Even months later, the pain of losing a pet can still hit without warning.

The trigger might be noticing B次元官网网址� again, for the umpteenth time B次元官网网址� how empty the house feels since your cat died, without the pitter-patter of padded paws. Or stumbling across the leash of the dog you lost and remembering how it used to set off tail-wagging glee.

Grieving owners can feel doubly lonesome if the humans in their lives donB次元官网网址檛 quite know how to help, perhaps because theyB次元官网网址檝e not themselves or feel awkward around grief.

How can owners and their friends with pet bereavement? Experts in pet loss offer these ideas:

Recognize that feeling awful is normal

For some grieving owners, pet loss can feel worse than a human death. That doesnB次元官网网址檛 make them monsters. Instead, it reflects the potential depths of human-animal bonds.

For some people, a pet is their most important relationship, B次元官网网址渢he being that they see every single day, that maybe sleeps on their bed, that they cuddle with on the couch,B次元官网网址� says E.B. Bartels, author of B次元官网网址� .B次元官网网址�

B次元官网网址淭here are people who feel more comfortable with animals than with people,B次元官网网址� she adds. B次元官网网址淪o losing those relationships can be really, really difficult.B次元官网网址�

Offer a sympathetic ear

People who havenB次元官网网址檛 experienced pet love may struggle to understand what itB次元官网网址檚 like to lose it. They may think they are being helpful by saying, B次元官网网址淚t was just an animal,B次元官网网址� or B次元官网网址淭hey were lucky to have such a loving owner.B次元官网网址� But pat phrases, no matter how well-meaning, can make grieving owners clam up and feel alone.

B次元官网网址淵ou feel like you canB次元官网网址檛 talk about it because people arenB次元官网网址檛 really empathizing,B次元官网网址� says Annalisa de Carteret, who manages a telephone helpline and other pet-loss support services for Blue Cross, a U.K. animal welfare charity.

B次元官网网址淛ust allow that person to talk about how theyB次元官网网址檙e feeling, and you donB次元官网网址檛 need to comment,B次元官网网址� she says.

Avoid clich茅s like, B次元官网网址淏次元官网网址極h, you can get another petB次元官网网址� or B次元官网网址楬e had a good life, he was a good age,B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址� she says. For the owner, B次元官网网址渢hat doesnB次元官网网址檛 make you feel any better, because you knew all of those things. You just feel sad and just want someone to listen and to understand.B次元官网网址�

Bonds can run deep with any kind of animal

Another tip: DonB次元官网网址檛 assume that an ownerB次元官网网址檚 grief is commensurate with the size or type of animal they lost, or the length of time they had them. The death of , can be as painful for some people as losing the cutest of fur balls for others.

B次元官网网址淢y friendB次元官网网址檚 dad has a koi pond and he loves these koi. And he was so upset when a raccoon got in and killed all his koi one summer,B次元官网网址� Bartels says. B次元官网网址淪ome people would be like, B次元官网网址極h, theyB次元官网网址檙e just fish.B次元官网网址� But he loved these fish, you know?B次元官网网址�

She suggests that friends can offer practical help: A grieving owner who no longer has a four-legged reason to leave the house might appreciate the offer of a walk with a two-legged companion.

B次元官网网址淧eople can really feel they lose their community,B次元官网网址� Bartels says. B次元官网网址淚n the morning you get up, you bring your dog to the dog park and you get to know the group of people who are there every morning really well. And thatB次元官网网址檚 your social community. And so then if you lose your reason for going B次元官网网址� youB次元官网网址檝e lost a lot more than just a dog.B次元官网网址�

Guilt often compounds pet loss

Up to 30,000 people contact Blue Cross each year for . Many arenB次元官网网址檛 simply sad but also are fearful that they may somehow have been responsible for their animalB次元官网网址檚 death or disappearance, de Carteret says.

B次元官网网址淕uilt is a really big part of pet loss,B次元官网网址� she says.

B次元官网网址淭hey maybe think, B次元官网网址極h, if IB次元官网网址檇 done something differently, maybe theyB次元官网网址檇 have stayed alive a little bit longer,B次元官网网址� or if they were stolen: B次元官网网址業f I didnB次元官网网址檛 put them in the garden.B次元官网网址� Or, B次元官网网址榃hat could I have done differently to change the inevitable?B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址�

For bereaved owners who feel more upset about the loss of a pet than about a family member, that can trigger more guilt, de Carteret adds.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 really normal,B次元官网网址� she says. But B次元官网网址渋t feels wrong to say, doesnB次元官网网址檛 it? And people donB次元官网网址檛 want to share that.B次元官网网址�

Can a new pet help ?

Possibly. But itB次元官网网址檚 not a magic bullet. Each animal has its own personality and a new one wonB次元官网网址檛 necessarily fill the void left by another. And if your previous pet was full-grown, you may no longer have the patience for kittensB次元官网网址� litters or puppy-training again.

Bottom line: Grieving canB次元官网网址檛 be truncated. The sadness and memories can be lasting.

Bartels lost her dog, Seymour, last June.

B次元官网网址淚B次元官网网址檓 sure IB次元官网网址檒l have a hard time again in June when itB次元官网网址檚 the year anniversary of when we put him down,B次元官网网址� she says.

De Carteret keeps her dogB次元官网网址檚 ashes by her fireplace, which was his favorite place to sit.

B次元官网网址淪ome people will think thatB次元官网网址檚 weird,B次元官网网址� she says. B次元官网网址淏ut, you know, thatB次元官网网址檚 how I deal with it B次元官网网址� You have to find the right way for you.B次元官网网址�