Monogrammed towels. A toothbrush holder for four, rather than three. Shared bedding. For people putting a life back together after divorce, mundane household objects can be painful marital reminders.

Also difficult can be the absence of items that departed with the ex-spouse.

Olivia Howell knows all too well how it felt, going through her own divorce in 2019 after eight years of marriage and two kids. Her husband decamped with his stuff and she donated other items that triggered unwelcome emotions to a thrift shop.

B次元官网网址淲hat was left in the house was almost nothing,B次元官网网址� she said.

Howell then got busy replenishing, and trying to make the experience better for others through ItB次元官网网址檚 a gift registry specifically for rebuilding after divorce thatB次元官网网址檚 also packed with vetted experts if needed and other resources.

Divorce registries are part of a trend toward breaking the stigma of broken marriages, along with divorce parties and formal divorce announcements akin to wedding and marriage news.

Howell built Fresh Starts from the ground up with her sister, Jenny Dreizen, who found herself in a similar situation after the end of a long-term relationship. Nearly three years after launch, it remains a rare support resource offering divorce-specific registries for those starting over, and for loved ones who may struggle to find the right words and ways to reach out.

B次元官网网址淚 thought, you know, I had a and I had a This is when I actually need things to restock my life. I need the community support. I need new towels. I need new sheets, I need new utensils,B次元官网网址� the 39-year-old Howell said.

Today, Fresh Starts has between 50,000 and 70,000 monthly visitors. The sisters also host a podcast, B次元官网网址淎 Fresh Story,B次元官网网址� featuring guests discussing how they began again after divorce or navigated other huge life changes.

Erin Eloise Tulberg, a yoga teacher, actor and dancer in Brooklyn, has not yet finalized her divorce as she works out custody arrangements for her 9-year-old son. She started using Fresh Starts last summer at the suggestion of a friend.

B次元官网网址淭here was an immediate need for me to get my own apartment. I was moving into a place with absolutely nothing. I had no furniture. I had no kitchenware. I had my clothes and my books,B次元官网网址� said Tulberg, 37.

The situation, she said, was B次元官网网址渒ind of scary.B次元官网网址� Originally from Washington state, her closest family and friends are scattered around the country.

B次元官网网址淚t was a great way to have my friends rally behind me,B次元官网网址� Tulberg said of her registry.

Flowers, bottles of wine, and a pile of B次元官网网址淚B次元官网网址檓 sorrysB次元官网网址� or B次元官网网址渃ongratulations,B次元官网网址� depending, are often how divorce news plays out. Those looking to support their friends or relatives donB次元官网网址檛 often think about the need for a lamp or new sheets, Howell said.

They may also not understand the emotional impact that simple objects can take on. New household goods at a time of rupture and despair can draw community closer and become totems, a rebirth of sorts, said Leslie Jamison, a Brooklyn novelist and essayist whose latest book, B次元官网网址淪plinters,B次元官网网址� is a personal exploration of her own divorce.

B次元官网网址淧art of it is a kind of faith and hope and trust that a new version of oneB次元官网网址檚 life, household, family not only is possible but can be filled with beauty,B次元官网网址� she said.

Howell, among the first of her friends to get divorced, had loved ones who checked in daily to make sure she was eating and sleeping. They sent MotherB次元官网网址檚 Day gifts after her separation just ahead of the holiday. And they reassured her with standing offers to assist in any way.

But there was a lot they didnB次元官网网址檛 immediately understand.

B次元官网网址淓very time I would go into the bathroom, I would feel horrible because I would see a toothbrush holder for a life that I thought I was going to have. It made me feel so much shame and guilt, and all of those other feelings that come with divorce,B次元官网网址� Howell said.

One day, her sister showed up with a new one just for three.

B次元官网网址淚 still get emotional talking about it because it was really like, OK, this is happening. IB次元官网网址檓 going to be OK,B次元官网网址� Howell said.

For Tulberg, it was matching beds for her and her son. They share a studio apartment.

B次元官网网址淪uddenly, I had things from all of my friends that are real and tangible and not ephemeral,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淚 look at my plates and I know exactly who theyB次元官网网址檙e from. My friends say it feels good to be able to give something solid and real to us.B次元官网网址�

Many retail registries can be set up for a multitude of purposes, including divorce.

Fresh Starts uses Amazon. It suggests bundles of items ranging from $99 to $500. Among the bedroom, kitchen, home office and bathroom essentials are a shower curtain, a can opener, a bedside clock, a humidifier. The site also groups bundles by room, including child-size hangers and a night light that projects the stars for a young oneB次元官网网址檚 space.

Recipients can go the bundle route when choosing what to list, or they can pluck specific items from them. They can also select anything else on Amazon. Getting to the emotional place that allows someone newly separated to reach out for this kind of tangible help isnB次元官网网址檛 always easy.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 about meeting people where they are,B次元官网网址� Howell said.

Divorce talk can be awkward. Fresh Starts offers text prompts covering how to introduce a registry to loved ones, along with suggestions for what friends and relatives can say.

Howell doesnB次元官网网址檛 describe divorce registries as B次元官网网址済ift registriesB次元官网网址� but rather B次元官网网址渟upport registries.B次元官网网址� Some of her users create registries for other reasons, too.

Not everyone is on board with the idea. Howell hears from a lot of haters.

B次元官网网址淭here are some people that are very against it because they feel like divorce shouldnB次元官网网址檛 be celebrated. WeB次元官网网址檙e saying that divorce is a brave decision and that you should be honored for that brave decision and supported,B次元官网网址� she said.

Angela Ashurst-McGee, 52, finalized her divorce in March after six kids and 32 years of marriage. She and her husband took turns choosing what they wanted in their 3,000-square-foot house about an hour south of Salt Lake City. She, too, heard about registries from a friend.

B次元官网网址淪o it was like, I want the sofa in the living room, I want the sofa in the sunroom, I want the hedge trimmer. I want the drill, you know, down to the waffle maker,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淛ust on a practical level, I needed to replace various things. And also, I felt like this is a big life event that I think we should kind of rally around and celebrate.B次元官网网址�

One of her sisters set up her registry on Amazon, without using Fresh Starts. Ashurst-McGee chose a few just-for-fun things among her essentials, including twinkle lights for her backyard patio.

B次元官网网址淓verybody who reached out said, I think this is a great idea, or IB次元官网网址檝e suggested this to some other people I know. ItB次元官网网址檚 hard to know what to do for somebody whoB次元官网网址檚 getting divorced other than saying, you know, bummer. So it was kind of something concrete that people could do,B次元官网网址� she said.

Concrete, she said, and positive.

B次元官网网址淚 think one fear people have is in regards to taking sides,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淎nd this is something you can do without taking sides. ItB次元官网网址檚 forward-looking. ItB次元官网网址檚 not denigrating the other person. ItB次元官网网址檚 not blaming anyone. ItB次元官网网址檚 just practical support.B次元官网网址�

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