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COVID-19 brings some families closer together, as bonds strengthen in times of crisis

B次元官网网址業 didnB次元官网网址檛 realize how much all these people meant to meB次元官网网址
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Barbara, left, and Marissa Barnartt pose for a photo outside their condo building in Thornhill, Ont. on Wednesday, February 10, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chris Young

Marissa Barnartt doesnB次元官网网址檛 have to travel far to see her mother on Family Day on Monday. All she needs to do is open her bedroom door.

In late 2019, the 34-year-old financial advisor moved back in with her mother in north Toronto after giving up her apartment because of an issue with her landlord.

But the shared living arrangement turned out to be B次元官网网址渁 blessing in disguise,B次元官网网址 says Barnartt. The COVID-19 pandemic has extended her stay for more than a year now, bringing mother and daughter closer together than ever.

After losing her father about a decade ago, Barnartt says the crisis has given her the chance to reconnect with the woman who raised her B次元官网网址 this time as roommates. And while she wouldnB次元官网网址檛 mind a bit more space, thereB次元官网网址檚 no one else sheB次元官网网址檇 rather shelter-in-place with.

B次元官网网址淥ur lives were always very busy between school, work, extracurriculars,B次元官网网址 she said. B次元官网网址淚t is nice knowing that we have that quality time now that we didnB次元官网网址檛 necessarily have with my dadB次元官网网址 Even if itB次元官网网址檚 too much sometimes.B次元官网网址

While pandemic-related restrictions have separated many families, some Canadians are reuniting with relatives to support each other through the crisis, often rekindling bonds that had perhaps been neglected in the bustle of pre-lockdown life.

The Barnartts said theyB次元官网网址檝e not only had to relearn how to live together, but have discovered new ways they can rely on each other.

Barbara Barnartt said sheB次元官网网址檚 happy to spare her daughter the cost of rent in return for some help with a home renovation.

B次元官网网址淪heB次元官网网址檚 got somebody to talk to, and IB次元官网网址檝e got somebody to talk to,B次元官网网址 Barbara Barnartt said. B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 really helped us both.B次元官网网址

Times of crisis tend to pull families together, often because of increased pressure to pool resources such as money and housing, said Barbara Mitchell, a professor of sociology and gerontology at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver.

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But the process of sorting into social bubbles has also forced people to think about the relationships that matter most to them, and more often than not, close family members tend to outrank the rest, Mitchell said.

B次元官网网址淔amilies are incredibly resilient,B次元官网网址 she said. B次元官网网址淭hey have this capacity to weather storms and bounce back from adversity in ways that can actually make them stronger.B次元官网网址

For Karen Avey, the pandemic presented the inadvertent B次元官网网址済iftB次元官网网址 of being able to see how much her son has grown since moving to Shanghai five years ago to study traditional Chinese medicine.

Late one night last March, Avey heard a knock on the door of her home in Brantford, Ont., and was stunned to find her 24-year-old standing on her porch.

B次元官网网址淵ouB次元官网网址檙e going to be mad,B次元官网网址 he told her, explaining that heB次元官网网址檇 been quarantining at his fatherB次元官网网址檚 house for two weeks without telling her, because he knew nothing would stop her from trying to see him.

B次元官网网址淭hat was absolutely true,B次元官网网址 Avey said. B次元官网网址淭hen we sat on the sofa, stuck together like glue.B次元官网网址

After he left for school in 2016, Avey said her son had only been able to visit home a handful of times because of the rigours of his program. Now, heB次元官网网址檚 just a short drive away at his fatherB次元官网网址檚 house while working together at his medical clinic.

Avey said her son will only see her outside on the porch to reduce the risk of exposing her to the virus, but she still manages to sneak in the occasional hug as she marvels at the accomplished young man her boy has become.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 a whole new level of pride in who he is, what he wants to do and what heB次元官网网址檚 doing now.B次元官网网址

Melanie Billark said her grandmother was her B次元官网网址渞ockB次元官网网址 growing up, so when the 82-year-old needed someone to take care of her, she didnB次元官网网址檛 hesitate to return the favour.

A few months into lockdown, Billark said her grandmother was hospitalized for a psychotic episode after she stopped taking medication for her dementia and AlzheimerB次元官网网址檚.

Since then, the 30-year-old artist has been travelling from Toronto to her grandmotherB次元官网网址檚 long-term care home in Oakville to help her relearn routines and counsel her through her mental health struggles.

B次元官网网址淚f the roles were reversed, which they were before, she would have done anything for us,B次元官网网址 she said. B次元官网网址淚 feel itB次元官网网址檚 my job now to help her.B次元官网网址

Billark admitted that her new role as caretaker has been both B次元官网网址渁 blessing and a curse.B次元官网网址 With every visit, she has to weigh the risks of infection against the psychological toll of social isolation.

B次元官网网址淚 have all of this responsibility on my shoulders,B次元官网网址 she said. B次元官网网址淏ut itB次元官网网址檚 the benefit of her own mental health and stability and having contact with someone that it kind of outweighs everything for me.B次元官网网址

While Allison Bradley in Kelowna, B.C., canB次元官网网址檛 see her parents on a regular basis, in some ways, she feels like sheB次元官网网址檚 spending more time with them than ever.

Bradley said video chat has allowed her and the rest of her family to B次元官网网址渧isitB次元官网网址 her 87-year-old mother and 90-year-old father every weekend, giving them a chance to see their first great grandchild grow up from afar.

SheB次元官网网址檚 also taken the time to digitally reconnect with relatives across the globe, some of whom she hadnB次元官网网址檛 seen in years.

B次元官网网址淚 didnB次元官网网址檛 realize how much all these people meant to me,B次元官网网址 she said.

B次元官网网址淎ll of a sudden, weB次元官网网址檙e not so wrapped up in our own little worlds, and weB次元官网网址檙e remembering to reach out to the people that we care about.B次元官网网址

Adina Bresge, The Canadian Press

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