She was once hailed as CanadaB次元官网网址檚 best athlete and Elaine Tanner has the accolades to prove it as a teenage swimming prodigy known as B次元官网网址淢ighty MouseB次元官网网址� at Olympic, Commonwealth and Pan American games.

But her most cherished medal came outside the pool. ItB次元官网网址檚 a sterling silver Medal of Service, the forerunner to the current Officer of the Order of Canada medal.

When the Canadian government wanted it back, to switch for the replacement honour, Tanner, now 71, refused. She says she canB次元官网网址檛 let it let go because it tells the story of her life.

Tanner went to the 1968 Mexico City Olympics overwhelmingly favoured to win gold. Instead, with the weight of a nation on her 17-year-old shoulders, she came home with two silvers, in the 100 m and 200 m backstroke, and a bronze in the 4x100 m freestyle relay.

Tanner was devastated. At 18 she retired from competition. She suffered for years with panic attacks, eating disorders and depression.

Now, almost 55 years since Mexico, Tanner says from her North Saanich home that she has turned losing gold into her greatest victory.

She says she hopes the way she emerged from the B次元官网网址渂lack holeB次元官网网址� that her life became after the Olympics can inspire other people facing hard times.

The service medal symbolizes that. She picked up the medal from a table covered with photos of her athletic achievements and explained the honourB次元官网网址檚 significance in her search for lifeB次元官网网址檚 gold.

B次元官网网址淚 thought my big quest in life was to win gold at the Olympic Games, but I realized thatB次元官网网址檚 not the gold that hangs around your neck,B次元官网网址� said Tanner.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 the gold you mine within yourself. ThatB次元官网网址檚 my message.B次元官网网址�

In 1970, Tanner became the youngest Canadian to be awarded the Medal of Service, created to recognize exemplary achievement and service to the nation.

The medal was introduced in 1967 and was awarded to 294 people before concerns about its modest appearance prompted a restructuring by the government in 1972, including the request to voluntarily return the award.

It meant too much to Tanner.

B次元官网网址淢y heart told me that this is the medal that was given to me by the government, actually by (former) governor general Roland Michener, and he pinned it on my dress, and I went, B次元官网网址楾his means the world to me,B次元官网网址� and I donB次元官网网址檛 want to hand it in,B次元官网网址� said Tanner.

B次元官网网址淚 like it just the way it is,B次元官网网址� she said from her living room overlooking a marina. B次元官网网址淚B次元官网网址檓 so glad I kept it.B次元官网网址�

Tanner had gone to Mexico City as a sporting and cultural phenomenon.

She got the B次元官网网址淢ighty MouseB次元官网网址� nickname in 1965 after winning her first Canadian national swim title in the 100 m butterfly at aged 14.

B次元官网网址淚 must have been four-foot-nine and probably just under 90 pounds soaking wet,B次元官网网址� said Tanner. B次元官网网址淚 was really small. I got up on the podium to receive my medal and the other girls were towering over me and a coach from Ocean Falls, the swim coach, yelled, B次元官网网址榃ay to go Mighty Mouse.B次元官网网址�

B次元官网网址淭he crowd laughed, and the media picked it up and it just stuck.B次元官网网址�

More national titles, world records, and gold medals at Commonwealth and Pan American games followed.

She was an unbackable favourite to win gold in Mexico City.

Instead, she placed second.

She may have been the first Canadian woman to win any Olympic swimming medal, but the headlines were B次元官网网址淭anner loses gold,B次元官网网址� she said.

Tanner said she returned from the Mexico City an emotional and psychological wreck.

B次元官网网址淣ot only did I want to win for myself and my family, I had to win for Canada,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淚t was a heavy burden B次元官网网址� In my own little mind, I let everybody down.B次元官网网址�

Crawling out of the B次元官网网址渂lack holeB次元官网网址� took years. B次元官网网址淚 struggled for so long,B次元官网网址� said Tanner. B次元官网网址淚 really did.B次元官网网址�

She is now a mental health advocate and childrenB次元官网网址檚 book author and hopes she can help others.

B次元官网网址淲e all go through challenges in life,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淲e will meet defeat but keep going. The key of life is to keep going.B次元官网网址�

Tanner wrote an open letter in 2017 to Olympic champion swimmer Penny Oleksiak, who won medals for Canada at 16 years old, advising to her to trust herself and listen to her inner voice.

Tanner and Olympic ski champion Nancy Greene Raine are likely among the few living Canadians who still have a Medal of Service, said Christopher McCreery, who has written a dozen books on Canadian orders, decorations and medals.

Of the original 294 medals, 104 were returned in the early years, McCreery said. About 30 people kept their medals but most have died, he added.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 a super rare, scarce medal and itB次元官网网址檚 a very unusual story because she was so young when she got it and obviously retained a great attachment to it,B次元官网网址� he said in an interview from Halifax. B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 not just the medal, itB次元官网网址檚 the story behind it.B次元官网网址�

Tanner said that despite breaking five world records, winning gold at Commonwealth and Pan Am games, and winning the Lou Marsh Award as CanadaB次元官网网址檚 top athlete at the age of 15, she considers the Medal of Service the prize that best honours her journey.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 a symbol of all my accomplishments wrapped up in one, from the country I did it for,B次元官网网址� she said.

Dirk Meissner, The Canadian Press

Like us on and follow us on .