Rick Stiebel/Columnist
My usually reliable brush isnB次元官网网址檛 handling the lockdown well.
It bristles at any attempt to coax my coif into assuming the position and rejects outright extra strokes aimed at flattening the curve. ItB次元官网网址檚 left me looking like a silver-haired version of mid-B次元官网网址�60s Ringo Starr meets mid-B次元官网网址�40s Moe from the Three Stooges.
Six weeks in, my sideburns have taken on a life of their own. On the best days, they magically morph into bats frantically fleeing a brush fire.
The rest of the time they look like the turn signals that stick out of the sides of old European cars that most of you are too young to remember.
Meanwhile, my eyebrows have embarked upon an uncontrolled growth spurt that, according to the bride, leaves me looking like a horned owl.
Attempts to trim them myself went sideways, exacerbated by the fact that the range of colours for eyebrow pencils does not include white, whiter, or salt and pepper.
READ MORE: Rickter Scale
The upside is that IB次元官网网址檓 wearing my mask more when weB次元官网网址檙e out in public in a vain, futile attempt to distract people from the folly of my follicles. It doesnB次元官网网址檛 seem to be working, however, judging by the looks I get from people we pass during our daily walks through the old golf course in Sooke.
For those of you scoring at home, IB次元官网网址檓 up to about two kilometres of forced march a day. The bride skips the drive home with me, however, because she says she prefers to add a couple of miles to her stroll.
The skeptic in me believes itB次元官网网址檚 her way of escaping my witless banter.
On our recent once-a-week outing to the grocery store B次元官网网址� without a doubt, the unquestioned highlight of our weekend outings these days B次元官网网址� Joan ran into a client who looked like he just stepped out of a stylistB次元官网网址檚 chair.
She mentioned how nice his hair looked, with me standing beside her for a before and after comparison. After ensuring no one else was in hearing range, he whispered, B次元官网网址淚 got a guy.B次元官网网址�
Although you canB次元官网网址檛 be too careful about accidentally identifying your black market barber, I was tempted to ask if his guy made house calls. Instead, I mentioned that Joan has offered to cut my hair and that I was seriously considering caving to her craving to carve my cranium.
B次元官网网址淲hat have you got to lose?B次元官网网址� he asked with the smug confidence that comes with having B次元官网网址渁 guy.B次元官网网址�
I admitted to Joan that IB次元官网网址檓 on the brink of turning the bride loose, despite her lack of expertise as a hairdresser, which seemed to add a certain spring to her step.
ThatB次元官网网址檚 on hold for now, though, after I took a peek at next weekB次元官网网址檚 shopping list.
Seeing garden shears raised one balding eyebrow because we donB次元官网网址檛 have a hedge, and for the life of me, I canB次元官网网址檛 think of anything inside or outside our house that requires a belt sander.
Rick Stiebel is a semi-retired local journalist.
