Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat. Eat. Sleep. Poop. Repeat.

Ellis certainly had his ESP skills refined to an art form for the first three months, pepper-sprayed in fifty shades of brown.

Once he got a hundred days under his diaper, though, he began to add subtle nuances to his regular routine.

The fixed stare into space has been replaced by eyes that sparkle as they flit from face to face, or, when he looks at me, overflow with bewildered suspicion. That only exception is on those special occasions when I get to steer the wheels of his perambulator. He grudgingly tolerates my presence whenever I serve as his personal chauffeur during our family strolls to the park. Whenever I venture too close for his comfort, however, he reverts to Hell Boy mode, a persona he shared with me at full volume the first time I held him.

Ellis absolutely loves it whenever the Bride takes him in her arms, however, or gently bobs him up and down on her knee. A glow such as IB次元官网网址檝e never seen before cloaks Joan like a favourite blanket every moment sheB次元官网网址檚 with him.

A detailed description of the goofy grin thatB次元官网网址檚 stapled to the face of my son Chris, amazing mama Rochelle and Ellis when they dance together will remain a family secret. For now.

READ MORE: Rickter Scale

I would trade the KardashianB次元官网网址檚 family jewels in a blink for just a little peek into what the little guy is thinking when the four of us are within earshot.

Ellis Alexander Stiebel, in his own wordsB次元官网网址�

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 been six months plus since I busted out wailing and flailing; still adjusting to life on the outside. Mom and dad are super awesome so far, but they remain a work in progress, with lots of training ahead. Feigning the occasional tantrum still gets great results. Before I forget, thanks again for getting the three of us through the perils of a pandemic pregnancy. CouldnB次元官网网址檛 have done it without the two of you.

B次元官网网址淛oan hasnB次元官网网址檛 decided what she wants me to call her yet, but weB次元官网网址檒l settle on something before I let them know IB次元官网网址檓 ready to talk. SheB次元官网网址檚 honey-sweet and I love those pony rides, so I may let her have some say in her naming rights.

B次元官网网址淚 heard Papa really looked forward to my arrival, so IB次元官网网址檓 having quite the hoot freaking him out every time he gets close to me. HeB次元官网网址檚 a little too hipster wannabe to me, so sadly stuck in the B次元官网网址�60s. Not a fan of the hair, either. A little grey is okay, but that total whiteout just ainB次元官网网址檛 working. Not sold on the goatee yet, but he does have the perfect face B次元官网网址� for radio.

B次元官网网址淔inally, that alliteration fixation in what he peddles as prose is particularly perturbing and profoundly perplexing.

B次元官网网址淎nd what the hellB次元官网网址檚 up with that voice, anyway? Sounds like itB次元官网网址檚 straight out of a Halloween horror movie.B次元官网网址�

Rick Stiebel is a semi-retired local journalist.

Columns are the opinion of the writer and do not represent the viewpoints of the paper or Black Press Media.