The best part of Sharron RyanB次元官网网址檚 week falls on Wednesdays and Fridays at lunchtime as she feeds the ducks on a pond along her Saanich B次元官网网址 paper route.

ItB次元官网网址檚 a place where the 61-year-old, travelling on a scooter, can finally relax, be herself and forget something she has been unable to B次元官网网址� a mystery of a tragedy that took place 40 years ago.

At 21, Ryan was separated from her husband when her first child Paula was born. The baby was premature and lived just two days before suffering from a massive lung collapse. Under the influence of Valium and sleeping pills prescribed by her now-deceased doctor, Ryan says she never had a chance to see the body, to grieve the death B次元官网网址� or to ask questions around some of the bizarre happenings that took place at the time.

B次元官网网址淓verybody tells me to live with it,B次元官网网址� she says from her apartment, which she shares with her foster cat, Tippy. B次元官网网址淭ry to live with the knowledge that your daughter died and you didnB次元官网网址檛 even (have a chance to) hold her.B次元官网网址�

She remembers few details: her fatherB次元官网网址檚 emotional outpouring over his first grandchild B次元官网网址� and then the nurse who seemed to have PaulaB次元官网网址檚 sex confused.

B次元官网网址淭he day after she was born, one of the nurses came in with my chart and said B次元官网网址楽harron, we were just wondering if you wanted your baby circumcised,B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址� she says. B次元官网网址淚 just sat there so stunned because I couldnB次元官网网址檛 believe they would say that. I turned around to her and said, B次元官网网址業 had a baby girl.B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址�

Other curious details have had RyanB次元官网网址檚 mind racing since she decided to come to terms with her past and visit the babyB次元官网网址檚 grave two years ago. PaulaB次元官网网址檚 medical death certificate lists her date of death as Aug. 14, yet at Hatley Memorial Gardens, Ryan says their records indicate Paula was a stillborn and not buried until Dec. 15 in an unmarked grave with eight other babies.

Ryan has been in touch with the Vancouver Island Health AuthorityB次元官网网址檚 patient care quality office for answers, but given the years that have passed and the changeover in staffing, itB次元官网网址檚 virtually impossible for the office to provide her with the detailed timeline she seeks. She acknowledges the challenges of investigating a birth and death four decades in the past, yet still, she canB次元官网网址檛 help but search for answers.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 a horrible thing to lose a child, but to lose a child and not know for sure that sheB次元官网网址檚 gone,B次元官网网址� Ryan says, eyes filled with tears, B次元官网网址渢hatB次元官网网址檚 a horrible thing.B次元官网网址�

She says she cherishes cats, such as little Tippy, because of their infantile nature. She knows she wants someone to listen to her story and care like she does for all of her favourite personalities along her route.

She knows that some of her theories of details surrounding the babyB次元官网网址檚 death are unlikely.

She holds out hope that protesting outside of the Royal Jubliee Hospital and holding a sign that reads B次元官网网址淭HEY LOST MY BABYB次元官网网址� will result in someone else who was there coming forward.

I hope B次元官网网址� if that person exists B次元官网网址� that they can get in touch with Ryan and put her battle to rest.

B次元官网网址淚 feel like IB次元官网网址檓 going home when I get onto Donwood (Drive),B次元官网网址� she says, later adding: B次元官网网址淚f someoneB次元官网网址檚 in trouble, IB次元官网网址檒l jump in right away.B次元官网网址�

As I step from RyanB次元官网网址檚 apartment out through a front door adorned with welcome signs and tributes to feline friends, IB次元官网网址檓 hit with the challenge of telling her story. I confirm what I can through VIHA and, like Ryan, IB次元官网网址檓 left with a dilemma.

So many interactions like these will never make it into the news for the obvious moral and time restrictions. Ryan is clear about her desire to tell the story in any way possible, so here it is.

Sometimes itB次元官网网址檚 best to stop and listen, even if youB次元官网网址檙e not sure what to do with what you hear.

Natalie North is a reporter

with the Saanich B次元官网网址.

nnorth@saanichnews.com