Jill Davoren and Karen Wilson stand in the shade of a wooded grove on the highest point of Royal Oak Burial Park.
Davoren, a maternity services social worker and Wilson, a chaplain based out of Victoria General Hospital step through the loose dust and rock where a landscape and construction crew have begun to build Little Spirits Garden, CanadaB次元官网网址檚 first public memorial space devoted solely to parents and families who have experienced a miscarriage or a still-born child.
After having proposed the creation of such a remembrance space to the not-for-profit burial park seven years ago, Davoren and Wilson are pleased to finally have somewhere send bereaved families.
B次元官网网址淓very single parents asks me how to recognize the loss,B次元官网网址 Davoren said. B次元官网网址淎nd because it is very silent and one of the last taboos, it isnB次元官网网址檛 known. You donB次元官网网址檛 just ask your girlfriend or your mom or your aunt. You donB次元官网网址檛 know who to ask. ThereB次元官网网址檚 no map of how to do this.B次元官网网址
Plans for the site, located in the northern half of the grounds, include various remembrance options for families: bronze memorial plaques permanently mounted to stone tablets, commemorative polished stones to be placed within the garden, cedar memory flags to hang from surrounding woods, and pre-cast cement B次元官网网址榮pirit housesB次元官网网址 that families are able to take home and personalize before mounting in place.
Though the one-third of and acre site isnB次元官网网址檛 suitable for interment or remains, there are areas designated for the scattering of ashes. The garden is intended to expand or enhance the traditional burial already offered in park.
B次元官网网址淗aving something that wonB次元官网网址檛 wash away, or be broken or lost is really critical to these families,B次元官网网址 Davoren said, underlining the importance of the memorial plaques for parents who have often spent much time selecting names for their babies that only appear on birth and death certificates.
B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 a beautiful setting,B次元官网网址 Wilson said. B次元官网网址淚 like that there are alternatives for people to chose from. B次元官网网址 ThereB次元官网网址檚 a variety of ways for people to express whatB次元官网网址檚 personally helpful to them.B次元官网网址
The Board of Cemetery Trustees of Greater Victoria contributed $50,000 toward developing the plan for garden and partnered with the Saanich Legacy Foundation to generate the $295,000 needed to complete the project. The group aims to collect two-thirds of the funds from provincial and federal sources with the remaining one-third falling in the hands of local donors.
Use of the garden will be made available to every family, regardless of where and when they lost the baby and whether or not they are able to pay for their chosen remembrance option.
When Lindsay McCray, grant-writer with the foundation, heard the project was underway this June, she got behind it 100 per cent. McCray is one of the estimated 450 women who experience miscarriage annually in Greater Victoria.
B次元官网网址淚 will be able to stand in the middle of the garden and to look at all the cedar flags in memory of other infants lost and know that there are others who share my sadness,B次元官网网址 said McCray during the public launch of the fundraising campaign. B次元官网网址淭here are others who stood where I stand.B次元官网网址
Stephen Olson, executive director of Royal Oak Burial Park said the need for the project is far greater than most people may be aware.
B次元官网网址淚 cannot recall a time when IB次元官网网址檝e been so moved by stories that have been told, stories like LindsayB次元官网网址檚 and the reason itB次元官网网址檚 been so moving is each family has never had a an opportunity to give voice to their story and to tell us how they felt,B次元官网网址 he said. B次元官网网址淲e want to rectify that for these parents and these families.B次元官网网址
In June 2013, when Little Spirits Garden is slated for completion, it will already host 250 spirit houses to account for previous need. In memoriam donations can be made at saanichlegacy.ca. Donors will be able to personalize a cedar remembrance flag to hang in the completed garden.
At 7 p.m. on Oct. 15, worldwide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, the park will host a community candlelight vigil at the Garden Chapel for families to honour their little spirit.
nnorth@saanichnews.com