WARNING: This article contains mention of suicide.

For Terri Orser, thereB次元官网网址檚 no single memory that captures the horror and devastation of life in a war zone.

Orser, a 27-year veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces, witnessed no shortage of action while serving around the world, including deployments to the Arabian Peninsula during the Gulf War and South Africa at the Canadian High Commission.

But it was the Langford residentB次元官网网址檚 time spent as a United Nations (UN) peacekeeper in the Balkans that still haunts her.

B次元官网网址淧eacekeeping is a whole other animal,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淭hey can do a lot of things to you and you canB次元官网网址檛 retaliate. And they can do a lot of things to each other, but thereB次元官网网址檚 not much you can do about it.B次元官网网址�

In early 1992, the United Nations Protection Force was formed after fighting erupted in Croatia and Bosnia-Herzegovina during the split of the former Republic of Yugoslavia. It protected civilians within three special UN-protected zones and kept other militaries out. Peacekeepers from dozens of countries, including Canada, participated in the effort.

Like many Canadian soldiers sent to the region as peacekeepers, Orser found very little peace to keep when she deployed to Pakrac, Croatia. Over the course of her two deployments to the region, she not only witnessed ugly inter-ethnic conflict but the ultimate human toll of war.

B次元官网网址淛ust seeing other people suffer in other countries is enough in itself to do a number on you,B次元官网网址� she said.

Orser said she lost colleagues to landmines while seeing others horribly maimed. WhatB次元官网网址檚 not often talked about, she added, are the soldiers who took their own lives. B次元官网网址淚 think one of the hardest was when a guy in my company, just a young guy, put a grenade down his flack jacket and killed himself,B次元官网网址� she said.

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While Orser said she had been ready for whatever came her way overseas, she wasnB次元官网网址檛 prepared for the internal struggles of civilian life that awaited her back home.

B次元官网网址淲hat youB次元官网网址檙e not prepared for is when you come back, like from a United Nations peacekeeping mission, is to feel the feelings you feel afterwards and not knowing what to do with those feelings,B次元官网网址� she said.

In 2000, Orser was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and continued to serve another seven years until her medical release in 2007. At the time, it wasnB次元官网网址檛 easy for Orser to come to terms with her diagnosis, let alone understand it.

B次元官网网址淲e didnB次元官网网址檛 really know what it was. We just thought we were really screwed up, which we sort of were,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淥nce youB次元官网网址檙e out of the military itB次元官网网址檚 difficult if you donB次元官网网址檛 want to be out of the military. YouB次元官网网址檝e lost your companionship, your camaraderie; youB次元官网网址檝e lost your friends. ThereB次元官网网址檚 just no cohesiveness anymore.B次元官网网址�

Almost 15 years after her release from the military, Orser admits that sheB次元官网网址檚 still transitioning to civilian life. But she says helping other veterans is helping her. B次元官网网址淲hen I became involved with the Legion, I never realized how many veterans needed assistance,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淎nd of course, me being one of them, it made sense B次元官网网址� from helping them I can look internally.B次元官网网址�

Orser has dedicated countless volunteer hours and has even received the Minister of Veterans Affairs Commendation as well as the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal for her work with veterans. For her service, sheB次元官网网址檚 received the Bravery Bar, the UN Protection Force Medal two-tour clasp, the Special Service Medal for NATO and Peacekeeping, and Gulf War Medals for both Kuwait and Saudi Arabia.

B次元官网网址淰eterans are willing to put their lives on the line for everybody else. And weB次元官网网址檒l go anywhere in the world to do that.B次元官网网址�

If you or someone you know is struggling, call the provincial suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-suicide (1-800-784-2433), or visit crisislines.bc.ca to find local mental health and crisis resources.

ALSO READ: Saanich veteran Stephane Marcotte says Wounded Warriors Canada programs saved his life

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Do you have a story tip? Email: austin.westphal@saanichnews.com.

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