When asked his name at the beginning of his interview, residential school survivor Mark Atleo chooses to answer first in Nuu-chah-Nulth, the traditional language of the Ahousaht First Nation. B次元官网网址淜iikitakashuaa,B次元官网网址� he says B次元官网网址� his name in Nuu-chah-Nulth B次元官网网址� before moving on to introduce himself in English.
His resolve to speaking first in Nuu-chah-Nulth could almost be mistaken as an act of defiance, a firm and meaningful gesture to his past, as when Atleo was seven years old, he was taken from his family and placed in the Alberni Indian Residential School (AIRS). Here he was forbidden from speaking his first language and forced to learn English.
B次元官网网址淚 felt lost,B次元官网网址� said the 72-year-old Atleo, who remembers fighting back, unsuccessfully, against the colonial language. B次元官网网址淚 didn't know why we had to speak English."
Atleo arrived at the school with his six-year-old brother B次元官网网址� the two of them thought they were going on a road trip with their parents to Port Alberni. Unbeknownst to the pair, threatened with jail by the Canadian government, their parents were forced to take them to AIRS.
Atleo remembers being dropped off at the school with his brother, small suitcases in hand, their mother crying, watching them from the taxi.
B次元官网网址淎nd my dad, he wouldnB次元官网网址檛 say goodbye,B次元官网网址� recalls Atleo. B次元官网网址淗e couldn't say it. We were just left there.B次元官网网址�
Terrified and confused in the first few days, the two boys consoled each other B次元官网网址� Atleo stepping up as the older brother to protect his sibling who had never been away from home before.
But their comfort was short-lived. To stop them from communicating in the Nuu-chah-Nulth language, Atleo and his brother were placed in separate dormitories.
There were also physical punishments for them and anyone caught breaking the strict rule.
B次元官网网址淭hatB次元官网网址檚 when they give us a strap and they said, B次元官网网址榃e're going to keep doing it until you stop speaking your language.B次元官网网址� [It] happened so many times.B次元官网网址滲次元官网网址�
Atleo describes being strapped with a piece of leather across his hand, the force of it causing his hand to swell and turn red. B次元官网网址淎nd it even hurt more with a wooden ruler,B次元官网网址� he adds.
Being forced into silence was a common experience for Atleo and his friends at the residential school. Victims of physical, verbal and sexual abuse at the hands of staff at the school, the children were warned to stay quiet.
He tearfully remembers being sexually abused by one male supervisor, and witnessing it happening to many others.
B次元官网网址淲e couldn't talk about it,B次元官网网址� said Atleo. B次元官网网址淲e couldnB次元官网网址檛 communicate with anybody about it. And it was [a] frightening experience all the time when somebody comes in the room and taps you on the shoulder. That's when you had to go B次元官网网址� go to the man's room. That was the hardest part.B次元官网网址�
The children were silenced again when they discovered a grave whilst playing in an out-of-bounds area on the school grounds. After telling a supervisor about the grave, they were strapped and told not to talk about it. But the group wouldnB次元官网网址檛 let it rest, remembers Atleo.
B次元官网网址淲e thought we were going to be brave and we told the principal,B次元官网网址� he said. B次元官网网址淸But] we got in trouble again, strapped again.B次元官网网址�
When the news broke in May 2021 about the discovery of the suspected grave sites of 215 children on the site of a former Indigenous residential school in Kamloops, Atleo says he cried. Memories of being physically punished, forcing him to stay silent about the grave he and his friends found at AIRS, came flooding back.
B次元官网网址淚 just said, wow, it's about time somebody told the story. And I said the truth hurts B次元官网网址� and it did hurt. Somebody told a story we couldn't tell.B次元官网网址�
Finding his voice
Wanting to break free from the confines of the school and communicate freely, Atleo found solace in extra-curricular activities such as sport. Playing soccer became a frequent relief, as it took him and his friends away from the grounds of the school.
He smiles when he talks about how his team won an Island soccer championship, but the soft-spoken Atleo is modest about his skills on the pitch. B次元官网网址淚 don't know if I was good, but we won.B次元官网网址�
Art classes were also an escape for Atleo, offering him another safe place for him to express himself through painting, without restrictions. But until 2013, AtleoB次元官网网址檚 memories of these classes were locked away, deep inside his mind.
He had no recollection of painting as a child.
In 2008, a collection of paintings by students from residential and day schools were gifted to UVic by the family of Port Alberni artist Robert Aller, who volunteered as an art teacher. Among them was a painting by Atleo.
B次元官网网址淚 denied that,B次元官网网址� he says. B次元官网网址淣ever painted in my life, I don't know anything about [a] painting B次元官网网址� that was blocked out.B次元官网网址�
He was reunited with his painting on stage at a Truth and Reconciliation Commission event in Vancouver, in front of over 1,000 witnesses. On stage, Atleo says he experienced flashbacks to his time at AIRS; memories of the abuse he and his friends suffered, but also fond memories of his time in the classroom with art teacher Aller, who he describes as kind and trustworthy.
B次元官网网址淗oly cow,B次元官网网址� said Atleo about the moment he saw his painting. B次元官网网址淚t was a real relief to see it when I saw it.B次元官网网址�
A bright blue sockeye salmon, with yellow and green markings, can be seen in AtleoB次元官网网址檚 painting. The fish rests in a net, surrounded by a swirling blue and purple sea. Atleo remembers his teacher had asked him to paint something he loves B次元官网网址� he only had one answer: fishing.
B次元官网网址淪o I put that fish in there, and the net part [is] of my teachings B次元官网网址� from my grandfather, like a circle of life. When my grandfather was teaching me all our cultural teachings, lots of it is integrated with everything around the world, around our lands, who we are.B次元官网网址�
The painting tells the story of a young child who had big dreams to be a fisherman, explains Atleo, which is what life was like before he was taken to residential school.
From an early age, Atleo enjoyed fishing. He remembers playing in the rock piles near his home, competing with friends to see who could catch the most fish, letting them go after deciding on a winner.
When he told his father about his dream to be a fisherman, a young Atleo was told he would first have to learn how to tie knots before stepping foot onboard a boat.
B次元官网网址淪o I went to my grandpa, he taught me how to tie knots and my uncles helped me,B次元官网网址� said Atleo, whose face lights up whenever the topic moves to fishing. B次元官网网址淎nd when my grandpa saw what I could do B次元官网网址� as a young kid, he told my dad he has to take me out now and that's when I went out.B次元官网网址�
Atleo would go on to be a successful fisherman for 36 years. B次元官网网址淚 did follow my dreams. My grandpa said, B次元官网网址楩ollow your dreams,B次元官网网址� and I did.B次元官网网址�
Alongside Atleo, dozens of residential school survivors and their families have been repatriated with long-forgotten paintings.
B次元官网网址淚t brought us back to who we were B次元官网网址� where we come from, what we did." said Atleo. "All the paintings had stories to them and they still have stories to them when they do work on it.B次元官网网址�
Many of the paintings are now part of a program of education offered through the AIRS Survivors Art and Education Society, which aims to shine a spotlight on the experiences of residential school children through the recovered artwork.
"It tells who you really were at one point in life as a young person B次元官网网址� and [the paintings] try to get them to see what we went through and what we lost," explains Atleo. "Like I always say, I lost nine years of my life being in that school and there were other people that were there even longer.B次元官网网址�
Through sharing his story, Atleo says it has helped him to feel like he is not alone, but also, it has helped others to reach out for help B次元官网网址� a difficult step for many.
"When the people need help, theyB次元官网网址檙e afraid to ask for help," he says. "And they weren't expecting me to tell them things like I shared. I tell them I had to reach out when I needed it ... they'll know their point in life when they need help, and they'll realize, not to be afraid, not to be ashamed.B次元官网网址�
Breaking point
And Atleo understands how difficult it can be to ask for help. It was something he struggled with after he left residential school.
After nine years at AIRS, he moved to Victoria to continue his education in Oak Bay. Whilst relieved to have escaped the nightmares of the residential school, Atleo went on to experience racism in his junior and senior years at high school.
At the age of 16, he turned to alcohol. B次元官网网址淓very time I got triggered, that's what I did. I go get my liquor B次元官网网址� just to kill the pain, not talk about it to anybody. Not share. And I did that for many, many years until I got my help.B次元官网网址�
Conditioned by years of being told to stay quiet, not speak, be silent, Atleo suppressed his feelings, unable to tell his family about his experiences, and later in life, his wife and their two children.
When his marriage began to break down, Atleo says he thought about ending his life several times. It was only then he reached out for help, calling on the support of a good friend, who was a psychologist.
B次元官网网址淸I] was terrified,B次元官网网址� says Atleo about the turning point in his life, roughly 36 years ago. B次元官网网址淎nd it took me a long time asking B次元官网网址� I just said, I need you B次元官网网址� I need help, I said. And I cried.B次元官网网址�
With the support of his psychologist, doctors, First Nations health nurses, and his friends and family, Atleo learned how to speak up and share his experiences.
Shocked and upset by the horrors of their fatherB次元官网网址檚 residential school past, Atleo says his son and daughter are happy he is now sharing his story and helping others, but ultimately helping himself.
B次元官网网址淚t's really helpful for me,B次元官网网址� he says about his work with AIRS Survivors Art and Education Society, which connects him with organizations and schools around Victoria. B次元官网网址淚 don't know what I'd do without sharing, you know, because I'm always busy.B次元官网网址�
And despite being a retired 72-year-old, who jokingly prefers to tell people that he is 49, Atleo is determined to stay busy. He volunteers at the Victoria Native Friendship Centre, and offers his time in an advisory role to the family and children services department in Esquimalt.
He has also returned to school, studying to achieve a certificate in mental health and addictions at Camosun College, which he will use to help people in need in the community.
B次元官网网址淚 just like everyone to be kind to themselves and not to be judgmental," says Atleo when asked for a message he would like to share with the community. "You know, we're all the same. We have a phrase that we say: Heshook-ish Tsawalk B次元官网网址� we are one. ThatB次元官网网址檚 one of the phrases we like to share.
B次元官网网址淲e're all the same people.B次元官网网址�
