Shelley Garner never expected to get divorced.

The 45-year-old Saanich womanB次元官网网址檚 husband asked for a separation in November 2007 after more than 20 years of marriage B次元官网网址� and was pursuing a divorce.

When GarnerB次元官网网址檚 husband suggested the idea of collaborative family law, a type of conflict resolution in which both participants agree not to go to court, she agreed.

B次元官网网址淚 didnB次元官网网址檛 hate him, but the marriage was over,B次元官网网址� she said.

But Garner wasnB次元官网网址檛 emotionally prepared for the first four-way meeting, in which both participants talk in person about their goals for the collaborative process, helped along by their lawyers.

B次元官网网址淭he first meeting was very upsetting,B次元官网网址� Garner said. B次元官网网址淏ut once I got through it and had a sense of everything, it definitely got easier.B次元官网网址�

Garner said the meetings, where she and her ex-husband talked about child custody, disclosed their finances and divided their assets, were hard.

B次元官网网址淒ivorce is not an easy thing. ThereB次元官网网址檚 still the notion of us versus them,B次元官网网址� she said.

But she felt their eventual separation agreement was straightforward and fair. She got what she wanted. B次元官网网址淔or someone who was kind of stumbling along, the process laid out a way to support both of us.B次元官网网址�

Garner felt supported by both her and her husbandB次元官网网址檚 lawyers, and felt like they listened to her.

Collaborative family law is not a new type of divorce law. Minnesota family lawyer Stu Webb introduced it in the U.S. more than 20 years ago and it has since spread to Canada, Europe and Australia.

It is influencing law practice in a very real way.

The B.C. Family Law Act, which deals with child and spousal support and dividing assets in the case of divorce, has legally recognized collaborative law as a legitimate alternative to court.

Robert Klassen is a family lawyer who founded the Collaborative Family Law Group in Victoria in 2001.

He says the 50 lawyers, divorce coaches and financial and child specialists who belong to Greater VictoriaB次元官网网址檚 law group work hard to advocate it as an option. But he is hopeful the amendment of the Family Law Act will further spread the word.

B次元官网网址淗opefully the government and other agencies will support the message.B次元官网网址�

Klassen will also be leading the University of VictoriaB次元官网网址檚 first course in collaborative law in January.  He believes that for couples who want to legally end the marriage, the process makes divorce easier.

B次元官网网址淭he separation agreement gives them everything but the divorce. ItB次元官网网址檚 a binding legal document that survives the divorce B次元官网网址� when the divorce goes through, itB次元官网网址檚 undefended.B次元官网网址�

ItB次元官网网址檚 often cheaper and takes less time than court, he said, because there are fewer legal hurdles.

Garner said she paid less than $3,000, and that she only met eight times with the lawyers.

Klassen said itB次元官网网址檚 not for everyone: heB次元官网网址檚 currently dealing with one case where there is a big power imbalance between the couple.

B次元官网网址�(We always have to look at whether) that is an appropriate case for a collaborative process B次元官网网址� is there abuse or betrayal?B次元官网网址�

But collaborative practices also retain divorce coaches to help clients through their emotions and financial advisors to inform them of their legal rights.

Garner said the listening skills she learned have helped her be more civil to her ex-husband.

B次元官网网址淚 think it helped in terms of communication skills. B次元官网网址� We could have easily become emotional and adversarial.B次元官网网址�

While she thinks it only works for couples that are willing to co-operate, she said it worked out for them very well. B次元官网网址淭hatB次元官网网址檚 the whole point. ItB次元官网网址檚 a win-win.B次元官网网址�

For more information about collaborative law, go to www.colalborativefamilylawgroup.com.

editor@goldstreamgazette.com