Her voice is shaky, a tremor that developed from stress that belies the strength of a desperate mother.
To say that Lorinda Stewart lived through agony barely gets at the horrific ordeal she endured during the 460 days her daughter Amanda Lindhout was a hostage to ransom-demanding thugs in Somalia. Nor would it be right to assume the nightmare ended with their reunification. It was, in fact, just another beginning.
B次元官网网址淚 had all these expectations of when Amanda came home of parties and joy and actually, I had a pretty huge breakdown. Nothing was what I thought it would be,B次元官网网址� Stewart said in an interview Tuesday.
B次元官网网址淚 expected it to be this Hollywood moment where we would run into each otherB次元官网网址檚 arms laughing full of joy but the shock I felt when I saw Amanda B次元官网网址� and she was just so skeletal and her eyes were haunted B次元官网网址� it just wasnB次元官网网址檛 that moment at all.B次元官网网址�
The crashing reality of that moment B次元官网网址� it would take therapy and many months before the endless crying and depression began lifting B次元官网网址� is one of several that Stewart, 61, recounts in her just published memoir, B次元官网网址淥ne Day Closer,B次元官网网址� a harrowing, soul-baring account of her quest to get her daughter home B次元官网网址� a story that leaves the reader feeling aged with each page at the brutality of it all.
Lindhout, now 36, was a seasoned traveller and budding freelance journalist when she and Australian photographer Nigel Brennan were grabbed in the capital of Somalia, Mogadishu. It was supposed to get sorted quickly, but the kidnappers were demanding millions of dollars B次元官网网址� an amount far beyond the familiesB次元官网网址� ability to pay.
Stewart, under the close eye of the RCMP who cocooned her in a cone of absolute secrecy, became the lead negotiator, moving back to Alberta from B.C. where she had been living. Negotiating meant talking frequently with a man known to her as Adam B次元官网网址� the pipeline and lifeline to a daughter, whose protracted mistreatment was shocking to the point of sadistic.
Through it all, Stewart gathered binders of materials, including recordings of intercepts of calls with Adam that underpin the book.
Dark points, she said, were many. Among the worst was hearing the rumour that her captive daughter was pregnant. And the B次元官网网址渂ad call,B次元官网网址� months into the hostage-taking, in which her distraught daughter called to beg her to pay her captors off. They were torturing her, Lindhout told her helpless mother. Her murder was imminent.
Stewart catches her breath. Her eyes go somewhere else.
B次元官网网址淭hatB次元官网网址檚 a hard one to talk about. It was extremely distressful. I was able to say what I needed to say without breaking down while I was on the call. But after that, I started throwing up and just found myself on the floor. ItB次元官网网址檚 really difficult,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淏ut then I realized I had to get myself back up and continue to fight for her to come home.B次元官网网址�
B次元官网网址淥ne Day Closer,B次元官网网址� published by Simon and Schuster, goes beyond the inner turmoil of a motherB次元官网网址檚 despair. Stewart also offers an at-times unflattering but eminently relatable portrayal of her own life, the poor partner choices she made, the strained and broken family dynamics, the struggles as a single or sometimes married mother from small-town Alberta, raising five children, making ends meet however she could.
B次元官网网址淲riting a memoir does take courage because everybody is going to see you differently,B次元官网网址� Stewart said. B次元官网网址滿y hope is to inspire people. IB次元官网网址檓 well aware I may be judged as well. I wanted people to know who I was.B次元官网网址�
It is in her strength and obstinacy that one sees the qualities that helped her daughter survive the sexual assaults, the torment, the despair.
B次元官网网址淚 found myself deeply moved, surprised yet again at the resiliency that she holds B次元官网网址� the ability to get through the impossible,B次元官网网址� Lindhout said about having read her motherB次元官网网址檚 book. B次元官网网址淚t was confronting in a wayB次元官网网址o really understand what a bizarre reality she was living, which I think I really understood for the first time.B次元官网网址�
The reality included living a secret life in a house in Sylvan Lake, Alta., 24/7 for months with a rotating cast of RCMP officers, who acted as her negotiating mentors, support, and liaison with what emerges as a faceless, distant entity: Ottawa.
While she speaks highly of the Mounties who lived with her in the home they rented, Stewart has little time for the shadowy string-pullers in the nationB次元官网网址檚 capital. She trusted them entirely, she said. She did everything they asked. And yet, she said, they lied to her at times, told her little, kept insisting she hold the faith because they were making progress.
Then they dropped her like a hot potato when things dragged on, leaving her and her ex-husband to find a private consulting company to help secure her daughterB次元官网网址檚 freedom, Stewart said.
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Gone was not only the emotional support, but also the money the government gave her to devote herself to being a secret agent.
B次元官网网址淚 felt betrayed in a lot of ways. I felt bitter,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淣ot knowing and feeling like youB次元官网网址檙e in the dark just added to the terror that we were already experiencing.B次元官网网址�
In contrast, the private security firm, at a cost of $2,604 a day, kept her fully informed and involved every step of the way, she said. But with the Canadian government refusing to pay any ransom, raising the more than $600,000 the two families ultimately needed to free their children, meant ongoing desperation, a sell-off of assets and home refinancing, along with reliance on the generosity of friends and strangers.
Raising ransom money also meant becoming the target of criticism from those who believed that paying off bandits only serves to encourage lawlessness. Stewart would have none of it, shutting out anything that distracted from her mission:
B次元官网网址淚 just had to have one focus, one goal, and that was to get her home,B次元官网网址� she said. B次元官网网址淓ventually, I had to face what was there. That time did come eventually, after she was home.B次元官网网址�
The crash came when she realized how frail and sick her daughter was. The dawning reality that they both had a long journey and healing ahead of them B次元官网网址� healing that still continues. People, she said, couldnB次元官网网址檛 understand the non-stop crying, why there appeared to be so little joy, why she had hit that wall so hard.
Time, coupled with therapy, would ultimately set her on a path to healing B次元官网网址� a still unfinished journey of which the book is a cathartic part.
In recent days, both mother and daughter have been following the accounts of Canadian Joshua Boyle and his American wife Caitlan Coleman, who were freed last week along with their three children born during five years of captivity in Afghanistan.
Stewart advises the ex-hostagesB次元官网网址� parents to be kind and gentle to themselves, not fight the torrent of conflicted emotions that might include immense sadness even though everyone is now safe. Therapy is a big part of that, she says.
Lindhout suggests Boyle and Coleman get away from the spotlight, find the time to enjoy the sky.
B次元官网网址淭heir road back, coming back into the world from such an intense and unique life-saving experience can be really hard,B次元官网网址� Lindhout said. B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 not made easier by public judgment and criticism, which I also went through. People should just have some compassion. TheyB次元官网网址檝e just been through a lot, more than any human should have to.B次元官网网址�
In June 2015, police in Ottawa arrested Adam B次元官网网址� Somali national Ali Omar Ader. He is currently on trial for his alleged role in LindhoutB次元官网网址檚 kidnapping.
Colin Perkel, The Canadian Press
