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Why we remember: Beginning to heal after a loved oneB次元官网网址檚 death

With so many choices, find something that brings you meaning
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The Sands Colwood team will help you create a service that is unique to your family.

B次元官网网址淎 life is a story; tell it well. ItB次元官网网址檚 the landscape of our life.B次元官网网址

ItB次元官网网址檚 a message Julie Evans, with in Colwood, shares with her families.

Sometimes itB次元官网网址檚 an individual or couple pre-planning their own funeral services, other times itB次元官网网址檚 a bereaved family. Just how those stories are best told, however, is unique to each individual.

Funeral, celebration of life, evening to remember: itB次元官网网址檚 your choice

Many have turned away from the B次元官网网址渢raditional funeral,B次元官网网址 whether due to perceived costs or seeing it as religious ritual at odds with a more secular world.

However, what a service looks like is as individual as those involved.

B次元官网网址淲e share with all our families that they have many choices,B次元官网网址 Evans explains.

Whether itB次元官网网址檚 a simple reception with grandmaB次元官网网址檚 favourite cookie recipe and fine china for family and friends, or an afternoon to remember, welcoming flowers or suggesting donations to a favourite charity, those are all things families can opt to do or not do.

B次元官网网址淲e have the responsibility to guide families, offer suggestions and encourage open conversation to assist in creating a memorable event which will assist in acknowledging the reality that someone in their life has died,B次元官网网址 Evans says. B次元官网网址淚 want families to know they have choices and weB次元官网网址檙e here to help them in every way. It is very rare that we say, B次元官网网址楴o, you canB次元官网网址檛 do that.B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址

Find value for those left behind

Regardless of what they do, itB次元官网网址檚 often choosing to do something meaningful thatB次元官网网址檚 important for loved ones.

B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 important to understand why we gather. It provides an opportunity for the survivors to acknowledge the reality of the loss, to remember that person, to create hope, to provide support, to allow us to express our feelings, to find purpose in continued living and ultimately find peace at the end of the day. B次元官网网址 Evans says.

So much is affected by how we deal with loss, at any age, but particularity when we are young. When the opportunity to grieve openly and be included in funeral events is removed B次元官网网址 with the intention to shelter our loved ones from pain B次元官网网址 we often create complicated grief which can manifest over time in many different ways and ultimately affect how we deal with future loss such as a marriage, a job or a pet.

A client who had recently lost her husband underscored that message for Evans: B次元官网网址淭he funeral is for my children and his friends. ItB次元官网网址檚 so important for me that my children can accept the reality of his death and that they will all be able to move forward in their lives.B次元官网网址

For many families, whether coming from a place of faith or not, time with their loved one also helps start the healing.

B次元官网网址淲e offer every family a time of reflection with their loved one. We believe in the importance of that quiet time to start accepting the reality of the death,B次元官网网址 Evans says.

Not everything needs to be immediate, however. Whether itB次元官网网址檚 waiting for a favourite season or until distant friends and family can return to gather, thatB次元官网网址檚 OK.

B次元官网网址淥ften we weB次元官网网址檒l have families come back to us a few months later and say, B次元官网网址楴ow we are ready for a funeral event.B次元官网网址橞次元官网网址

Planning ahead to give families options

With more people taking advantage of pre-planning their own funeral arrangements as a way of easing the emotional and financial stress on their loved ones, itB次元官网网址檚 important to leave some flexibility.

Having the conversation with family is always a good idea, but Evans also recommends people leave an option in their pre-planned funeral arrangements which gives permission to the survivors to create an event which is most meaningful for themselves in addition to what has been pre-planned.

The funeral event is for the living, she says. B次元官网网址淚tB次元官网网址檚 important to ensure the conversation isnB次元官网网址檛 one-sided.B次元官网网址.

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Learn more about Sands Funeral Chapel, Cremation and Reception Centre , visit on , or stop by at 317 Goldstream Ave.

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