A beer bottle hurtles past your head, youB次元官网网址檙e heckled off stage and your income relies on landing a part in a cringe-worthy commercial. Life for a standup comedian can be brutal, but for everyone else, itB次元官网网址檚 hilarious.

Comedian, actor, writer and producer Kirsten Van Ritzen hopes her fellow comics arenB次元官网网址檛 regularly dodging projectiles or the caustic outcries of drunken hecklers, but she knows the anecdotes in her debut book will hit particularly close to home for those with whom she shares the standup spotlight. The Comedy Diva Diaries, officially launched today, chronicles the struggles of a 29-year-old comedienne who imposes an ultimatum: get famous by her next birthday, or die trying.

Van Ritzen makes it clear, that although she may share a hair colour and profession with the generally unlikeable protagonist Comedy Diva, the similarities end there. The career-obsessed narcissistB次元官网网址檚 diaries are a complete work of fiction, an outlet the performer first discovered while writing a satirical blog under the same name 10 years ago while living in Toronto.

B次元官网网址淚 was going to a lot of auditions, going to improv and comedy shows and occasionally things go wrong,B次元官网网址� Van Ritzen says. B次元官网网址淭he casting director says something mean to you or the other actor blows their lines and you canB次元官网网址檛 say anything about it because thatB次元官网网址檚 just career suicide. You have to be gracious and not even mention that you might have just made six-months rent on an American commercial for deli meat.B次元官网网址�

Diaries is a variation on old-style chick lit, but instead of following an B次元官网网址渁dorkableB次元官网网址� character choose between men, learn some life lessons and walk down the aisle, it showcases an acid-tongued and unlikeable woman not fretting about men, but instead obsessing about her career path.

B次元官网网址淭he fun of playing a character and writing as a character, is that you can say and do the things that you could never do in real life.B次元官网网址�

Van Ritzen, an adept character comic has taken on countless such roles over the years, perhaps most recognizably in Victoria for her work acting in and producing Sin City, a live improvised soap opera. Though sheB次元官网网址檚 garnered much attention for her writing in 2012 B次元官网网址� her play All My Day Jobs, which debuted at the 2011 Victoria Fringe Theatre Festival, was selected for publication in an anthology of plays, had an excerpt published in a major national newspaper, and is currently being produced (selections) by a Winnipeg-based theatre company B次元官网网址� penning The Comedy Diva Diaries has been a completely new challenge.

B次元官网网址淚n live performance, you get that immediate feedback. People laugh or donB次元官网网址檛 laugh B次元官网网址� maybe cry if itB次元官网网址檚 a play. ThereB次元官网网址檚 something interesting about having written something that goes from my brain to my computer and now itB次元官网网址檚 printed in a permanent way, for other people to read.B次元官网网址�

Van Ritzen humbly labels the work B次元官网网址渇luffy commercial genre entertainmentB次元官网网址� B次元官网网址� yet itB次元官网网址檚 the product of support and encouragement from both her husband, author Ian Ferguson, and her brother-in-law, recent Giller Prize winner Will Ferguson, who provided feedback on an early draft of the book.

B次元官网网址淚 still say IB次元官网网址檓 an actor first because IB次元官网网址檓 around people who are real writers and thatB次元官网网址檚 their craft and theyB次元官网网址檝e won amazing awards. IB次元官网网址檓 not setting out to compete with any other writer in the world.B次元官网网址�

SheB次元官网网址檚 too busy with her next set of projects: co-producing a live television series for Aboriginal Peoples Television Network; acting in Langham Court TheatreB次元官网网址檚 production of That Face; taking the stage in Sin City; and leading acting and comedy classes. For Van Ritzen, none of those endeavours have involved ultimatums.

B次元官网网址淚 never set out to pursue fame or fortune,B次元官网网址� she says. B次元官网网址淔ortune would be awesome if it came my way, but the idea of being chased by paparazzi has absolutely no appeal to me at all. IB次元官网网址檇 rather do small, interesting projects that I care about with people that I like.B次元官网网址�

Van Ritzen launches The Comedy Diva Diaries, Dec. 7 at the Ramada Victoria, 123 Gorge Rd. E. Van Ritzen will read excerpts from her book, between performances by some of her favourite local comics. Doors open at 7:30 p.m. Admission is $5, with book sales for $15 (cash only).