Avan Jogia wants to show you his guts.
The actor-filmmakerB次元官网网址檚 second poetry collection, B次元官网网址淎utopsy (of an ex-teen heartthrob)B次元官网网址�, is a retrospective of the years he starred on the Nickelodeon show B次元官网网址淰ictoriousB次元官网网址� and the particular brand of fame it earned him in the early 2010s.
Compiling the book, Jogia said, sent him through the archives of his daily writing practice, selecting poems from when the showB次元官网网址� which also starred the likes of Ariana Grande and Victoria Justice B次元官网网址攚as on the air, and others written more recently with the benefit of hindsight.
B次元官网网址淟ooking back at those poems, I was sort of taken aback at how similar our voices are, despite there being a little bit more teenage rage,B次元官网网址� he said of his 17-year-old self.
B次元官网网址淏ut I donB次元官网网址檛 know if itB次元官网网址檚 that dissimilar from the rage I experience today.B次元官网网址�
The Vancouver native played Beck, the popular hunk, on B次元官网网址淰ictorious,B次元官网网址� which ran from 2010 to 2013 and landed him in the pages of J-14, Tiger Beat and a nascent Just Jared Jr. right as he was reaching adulthood.
Beneath the squeaky clean, slime green veneer imposed on him by Nickelodeon, there was the grittier reality of being 20 years old, making his own money and living alone in Los Angeles.
His poems, then, are meant to serve as what he calls an B次元官网网址渁utopsiaB次元官网网址� B次元官网网址� a self-autopsy in which he peels back the glossy layer to cut open his chest and reveal the grit.
He writes of the drug-fuelled parties he attended and the hungover photoshoots that followed; of friendships and acquaintanceships with those more famous and tortured than he; of the fear he had nothing to live for; and of the feeling of sitting at the kidsB次元官网网址� table as an adult.
He also writes of the way people treat him now B次元官网网址� as a sort of vestige of their youth, though he continues to work both behind and in front of the camera. He directed the 2023 film B次元官网网址淒oor MouseB次元官网网址� and is due to star opposite Dove Cameron in the Prime B次元官网网址 series B次元官网网址淥bsession.B次元官网网址�
But when people look at him and see their childhood, it puts him in a strange position, he said, in part because heB次元官网网址檚 not a fan of nostalgia.
B次元官网网址淚 think nostalgia is a sedative,B次元官网网址� he said. B次元官网网址淚 think of it as a drug, and we turn to it because tomorrow is so terrifying. We cannibalize our past because weB次元官网网址檙e scared of whatB次元官网网址檚 in our future.B次元官网网址�
In general, he said, heB次元官网网址檚 not somebody who looks back very much B次元官网网址� with the exception of his books. His first, B次元官网网址淢ixed Feelings: Poems and Stories,B次元官网网址� published in 2019, was a multimedia exploration of race, identity and family.
Generally, though, he said heB次元官网网址檚 more likely to look forward and think about whatB次元官网网址檚 next.
B次元官网网址淲hen people look to me to get a feeling of nostalgia B次元官网网址� I wish I could be the thing that they want me to be,B次元官网网址� he said. B次元官网网址淚 wish I could satisfy the moment theyB次元官网网址檙e trying to have, but so much has happened to me since then B次元官网网址� 15 years of life B次元官网网址� so I think itB次元官网网址檚 hard for me to meet them where they left me.B次元官网网址�
ThatB次元官网网址檚 not necessarily a bad thing, he said. Now 33, heB次元官网网址檚 grown a lot since he was first on TV.
B次元官网网址淚 think my life has gotten better and better and better, and more rich and more full and artistically satisfying,B次元官网网址� he said.
B次元官网网址淢y interior life B次元官网网址� my soul life B次元官网网址� has gotten so much better. Obviously, the world around us has gottenB次元官网网址orse.B次元官网网址�
